Struggling After 22 Years Of Marriage..

last month in March (the end of it) i was giving a notice to vacate the house after 22 years of marriage, and have been struggling ever since> i haven't been this alone since the army (that was about 30 years ago) and i am struggling and trying to keep very busy (not going on the internet isn't helping me much) but trying to keep busy is the key to stop struggling with the emotional break up of being married to a "Bossy" and "My Mother" type of women. I never really realized I was in such a relationship after people have been saying it, for years, about it. but know i'm free, (my health is getting back to normal) but the realization that i don't have a house and can't see my son (his choice, which I was a stay-home-dad for many years over 17) has make me struggle not to think about not texting or calling him (he doesn't call me at all) at that point.
The solution of all this Keep Busy!!! try to do things, like for instance i'm trying to work a lot of hours and trying to set up a plot so i can garden again. or if i can get my woodworking tools, start carving again like i used to.. that helps to stop the aggravated fact of struggling day to day with some hard solutions.
Money problems i still face, but my ex has provided me a nice sum to start off with, for a place to stay in (for a year if i save it all i can stay for a year and a half) she providing me health and dental. (but will have to face facts that i will be cut off soon enough so i have been saving all my pennies, and watching what i spend on and try to save in case i have to struggle to pay the bills in the near future.
But she thinks she's getting the house, nope it's going to go down the middle and hopefully i can leave this stupid state, start anew and live in a better house away from my home town (where she is living ) and hope my son comes to live with me.

So I was struggling with a lot of emotions, but i tell you this it's getting better and better with each passing day
ancientaa ancientaa
46-50, M
1 Response May 6, 2012

Thank you,<br />
I'm trying the best i can! Weekdays <br />
Are easy! I get up early, get ready fir work the leave but than i have a 3 hour window in between to kill (but i did get a 10x10 garden plot to garden and some work fir my landlady around the house (yard work) but until then nothing and those raining days im screwed! <br />
Then off to work (3 days i get home late nonproblem) but for 2 days the evenings are tough (i tend to head to bed early (like 5:00 or 6:00) and not think of my boy) then the weekends i have to find somethimg <br />
To do!<br />
Thats the hard part! I need to be creative and constructive (until the garden is ready for me to use) i need a distraction to be busy! And thats the key!<br />

At least you got a balcony to relax in, i got an appartment with an asphalt back yard (did clean it up so i can park my pickup truck and wheel chair van end to end) planning to get a tempory shed (one that i can build or take down when i move)? Just for "hopfully get more of my stuff" to put in!
Why is it? When the ex can stay in the house (that you both own) but your forbidden to get anything while she has acesss to everything!
Also i never had a friend, or soulmate, i really really married my boss, and she tried to be my mother literly? My lawyer keeps telling me i will find her? If i stop looking! Im looking! That will never happen! I just want some friends women or men to be close and have fun (a women to more close) but again it will take time!! Thanks for all your support.