Its Getting Bad

god i dont even know where to start. i moved about three years ago from my childhood home. i lived in my house for almost 13 years before we lost it and had to move to a trailer park. that really hurt me to leave all my childhood memories behind like that. i went from a 2 story 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom trailer. i had to live with my aunt because we moved out of district in the middle of my senior year in HS and even then we could still barely afford to even send me to school. i had to ask my brother for everything for my school suplies. the worst one that comes to mind is him buying my prom ticket dress and flowers for prom. my brother paid for my shity prom. after i graduated i finally lived with my parents full time. my neighbor i found out was a drug dealer who had loud *** parties every night. now what you have to realize is that his lot is RIGHT nest to mine. id say about 10-15 ft from my parents window. and he would wake us up with his shity music. it got so bad that my dad almost got into a fist fight with him. both my parents have bipolar disorder and depression and just how my neighbors where acting made both of them end up in the psych ward. i had to live by myself for a week and try to drown out his drunkin drug rants. he didnt even know i was there. he thought the house was empty which is what i was going for. he eventually got kicked out by his girlfriend which solved the noise problem but shes just as bad as he was, just more quiuet. and now my parnents acually talk to her. when i started college they where proud, or so they claimed. but both of my parnts are on disabilkity and we can only afford to pay our bills, and i go to an art college and need supplies. i failed a class because i couldnt afford the stuff i need. and i havnt told them and i never will. only if i get kicked out of school will the truth come out. and i honestly could care less. moveing here has made me a bitter resentful person. i hate myself and cry myself to sleep almost daily. im depressed and have major anxiety and its only just started since i moved out here. my brother just moved back recently and now im like an after thought to them. i wont go into extreme detail but the one thing that really got to me today was when my mom told him she was so proud that hes looking for a job......... IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A ******* JOB TOO! FOR ALMOST 2 ******* YEARS! but no i get no reconition.......... **** them
Silent20 Silent20
18-21, F
May 13, 2012