I Am At The End Of My Rope...

For 14 years, I had a fascinating job.  Of course, there were frustrating times, but in general it was good.  That ended 2 and a half years ago when our work was outsourced to Manilla.  It took 6 months that time to find a new job.  I never quite felt like I fit in, but I did an excellent job and got glowing letters of recommendation when I was laid off 9 months later because of the economy.  I have religiously applied for jobs every week for the past year and only gotten 4 or 5 interviews.  The rest of the applications seem as though they have just floated off into the ether.  I like to work hard and I feel like a lazy slug.  I don't go anywhere and I don't do anything.  My husband is losing his patience with the situation.  Our finances have never been good, we are on the verge of having our electricity and heat turned off.  We already owe a couple of thousand dollars for my son's adventures with Mono that included hospitalization.  I am diabetic and need meds, and now my husband has been diagnosed with a blood disease that can turn into leukemia if not treated.  I have been without unemployment checks for 3 weeks now, and there is no way we can get by on just my husband's check.  My health insurance alone is over $500.00 a month and without that we are really sunk.  I don't know what to do anymore and I can't stop crying.  That is so weak, I know, but I can't stop.  All I ever want to say is I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...something I've done must have brought this to me and my family and I am so so sorry.

pixiepix pixiepix
51-55, F
3 Responses Feb 24, 2010

I know exactly how you feel. I've been out of work for a while now and I feel completely useless. I'm used to having a routine and being constantly busy but now I feel useless and some people seem to think that I'm not trying hard enough, when every day I'm applying for jobs. I've had interviews but they seem to go nowhere, I don't even get a response to say whether I've got the job or not -so frustrating. I've got debt aswell which I can't pay at the moment - it does leave you feeling down. Hang in there, you're not alone. x

Thank you, Kelly.

you are not alone...hugs and prayers sent your way...