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Advice Pls

Hallo recently i was employed as a home carer going to people's houses to care in their own homes.  I thought my fears of going out would get easier but instead it has worsened. 

I have a child who is 6 so to an extent i have to make an effort, and i knew i had to eventually get a job as i would be stuck in this rut for a long time perhaps forever.  I find it hard to meet new people and communicate, experience new situations, and now when i am out if the situation is not comtrolled i start getting panic attacks, can't think and sweating all over, when i do talk to people who i don't know all i can think of is how i look and not about what they are saying.  Since i got this job i feel out of my depth and it's a mindfield, i don't really know my way around geographically and this adds to the strain.  It's not just the job though i feel on edge when i am on my own to the point of hsving a nervous breakdown as i am always stressed.  I'd like to see a doctor but i feel a little embarressed about the situation but i know if i carry on like this i'm going to blow and lose all my sanity.

I do have family who do support me to a certain extent but the have not got any history of this or mental illness.  My boyfreind is supportive but goes out to work most of the day.  When i take my child to school i spend most of my time at home alone and i have a puppy who is deaf who i am teaching hand signals to with communicating.  Whenever there is an oppurtunity to go out with my child on a day trip i always panic and make an excuse not to go but i feel bad as my little boy will miss out on childhood if i carry on, i will go with my boyfreind and child but i still get an overwhelmng urge to not think about the day and enjoying- i just want to go home and be safe.

Any advice please thank u
innerpeacehappy innerpeacehappy 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 10, 2011

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Wikipedia has an extensive overview on NLP http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming At least better than I can explain. About NHS I'm not sure if it's under 'Therapy and Counselling' Maybe check their website?

hey LilyLua what is NLP? can i get this on NHS THANX

Thank u LilyLua for your positive comments. Positive affirmations definetly help me. When i go shopping or have to go speak to individuals i definetly feel the most stressed. All i can think of is getting what i need when shopping and getting the hell out of there! <br />
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When talking to people even freinds nowadays i am always worrying about the way i come accross i also feel this way when i talk to the mothers in my playground i just over analyse evrything. i think i need to see a doctor to help me get my life backxx thank you i think i will carry on with my positive affirmations. I think the fear is sometimes worse than carrying out the task ;)

Hello hello :)<br />
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It's great you already acknowledge what makes you happy and what stresses you out and practice positive affirmations, they help me a lot too. Have you considered going to NLP (neuro linguistic programming) therapy? It could help with the stress as well. Keep surrounding yourself with positive things and try to dismiss the negative people. Many times I wish I could block them entirely, but all I can do is approach them in a different manner that doesn't damage me. If they want to be so negative then let them! Being self-aware around new people is super tiring and causes a lot of stress; those times I focus only on my breathing (the yoga breathing is very effective!). Identifying the causes of your anxiety is very important. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, so you should definitely go to the doctor if you feel it's necessary. Every time you go out with your boy, even when you feel so anxious, I think it's very brave of you. All the best to you :) You have my support. x Nory

Thank u Sarzz for replying. <br />
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When i am happy i am with my family, usually but i have been getting stressed a lot lately, have had lot on plate. My son has clubfoot so i need support with that hospitals doctors asking q's. Also my puppy she is deaf and full on all the time. My boyfreind has jus started to be there for me now knowing the extent of my fears, it's not me wanting to get out of work through laziness its an overwhelming fear of not being in control...<br />
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Yes i have been practising affirmations from self esteem to fear and they have helped. I have also listened to chillout music and i listen to a group called Bliss who make me feel calm and when i listen i can float in my own little world. The crash test dummies help me too one of their albums god shuffled his feet is so positive and puts me in a better mood. <br />
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Somtimes if i surround myself with positive things i can be so high but if i spend too much time on my own and i have to approach or talk to people that are negative i just build so much fear up and try to avoid people. Like i say with this job, if i have problems i'm just really fearful and sometimes the fear of doing it occuring problems, being new and looking like u don't know what to do is just paralizing.

I have something similar Social Anxiety. At one long part of my life I recall feeling the way you do, since I've been having anxiety, panic attacks just from fear of what others thought of the guy who never talks, the guy who looks perhaps bait angry or sad. I know how you must feel, you should do what I tried, that is to find out about your condition. How is your mental processing when you are in a happy place, what securities are present for you to feel free the terrible thoughts of being seen and judged. I know you can take your mind and transform it because these is a pattern of thoughts dictating your life but most of all affecting your child's childhood. Try to reach a place where you are ok with your appearance, you have the right to live life and not be trapped. I'm still struggling with trying o open up to people and not think low of myself. We have to change our thoughts into the type of thoughts that are outside of ourselves and jus do for those who care about us, we can win.