Life Is Weird

Ok so I'm 18 and have been out to only my bf who is a girl and she is pretty gay friendly but yet again she was shocked and couldn't believe that I was gay. I know we all got issues in life, but sometimes I seriously wonder why was I randomly chosen to live the life a gay person. I mean why didn't life choose someone who has an openminded gay friendly family ?! I ask myself everyday why god chose me to live the life of a gay person. I mean its not like I haven't tried to fix it, belive me motherfuckerss If a gay guy tells you he was born gay he is really BORN GAY !!!! why would I choose something like this especially in my own situation. I really wanted to be straight when I was younger not only because I would finally feel like I fit in , but because it would of been fun to have my first kiss with someone I really wanted to kiss not some girl just to fit in. It would of also been fun to hold hands with someone you love or kiss them in public without feeling like everyone is looking at you like you are a freak and maybe being attacked by some religious nazi . I mean its ******* hard just not being able to express your sexual side , you know I am a very simple person ; one thing that would of made me happy would be to be able to just lean towards the person next to me and say " hey the guy in the third row is really cute" while i'm in school. I strongly belive god does not hate gays something tells me he made us this way and loves us this way , because if we take a look at the planet earth , wich is his creation. We can see that it is so diverse , so many different , trees, birds , skin colors, accents , temperatures, cultures, face, heights, etc. I guess right now its our turn to fight for our right , just like women and black people had to fight in the past to be treated as equals. And why are people so afraid of something they can't understand or is just different than them, isn't diversity something beautiful ?
GG1234 GG1234
18-21, M
8 Responses Jan 26, 2011

Yes thats true. I also struggle with the idea of being different. Some times i wonder, why my, why should i be gay. Its so depressing and so much thought goes into it. My family wont accept me and i hate pretending to be someone im not

I agree with you 100%, but Earth is not one of God's creation it is simply just science. Same with humans we evolved from apes. Maybe it has something to do when u ancestors first evolved maybe they evolved in a different way that caused them to be gay. Idk that is just my theory.

WOW! DUDE! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! I am so glad there are people like you on this Earth. It makes living here all the more tolerable to have a thoughtful (and thought provoking) person like you walking amongst us.<br />
<br />
I'm gay. I have been since birth (like you and all others). I KNEW I was gay when I was in first grade (but didn't have a word or phrase for it). I knew I was different. Hell, I had a crush on Freddie, the kid who sat next to me in first grade...Then there was Claude, and Timmy, and Brian, and John and...well you get the picture.<br />
<br />
Personally (and since you "asked") I think your were born into your family because you are a teacher. You will "teach" by how you live. There's no guarantee however that those in your family will learn, especially if they have a bigoted kind of history where their beliefs were never challenged.<br />
<br />
Although I am not partiucularly "religious" there is a biblical lesson about preaching the word. When you enter a village to spread the word and are met with disbelief or even open hostility, just shake the dust/sand off your shoes and move on to a new audience. So, if your family can't/won't accept you then you need to consider finding a "new" family. ( Basically, don't waste your time beating your head against the wall. It's not good or your head and the wall doesn't care.)<br />
<br />
All my best wishes, amigo. Don't compromise.

GG... you just wait till you fall in love for the first time, and he's this amazing guy and he loves you like crazy and the two of you are happier than a pig in s... well, you're happier than you've ever been in your whole life. You are gonna be blessing your lucky stars that you were born gay, pal. Trust me on this one!

AWW !! thanks guys , I had a bad day today and just seeing your comments cheered me up :P . <br />
<br />
thanks for all your positivity , sometimes I do feel alone and misunderstood but all of you give me hope. <br />
<br />
much love ;) xx

God created you to be who you are.<br />
The people who are saying so many things about how we'll burn in hell. Well they're already the hell you're experiencing. So, they'll go to Hell too. It's not easy wondering why you were made to be who you are, but once you accept it and find people just like you. You will realize how normal things get. I hang with a lot of gays or bisexual, and most of us appear civil and regular. It's not like we stand out and throw our sexuality in front of everyone's face. It is sad we gotta be judged for what we are. I even have some straight friends who were open minded enough to start dating both sexes. It's not the question of whether she's a certain way, since sexuality is a complicated nature and pressure is put on it in this society. Growing up, I didn't want to be gay either, it felt wrong. But the more I tried to hide it, the more I'd dream of it, or I'd have these feelings I couldn't make go away. It was either to accept it or just be depressed. I wish you luck on getting to a good point in your life. You sound like a decent person and deserves a good life!

Tell me about it...I feel like at one point in every gay person's life, we ask ourselves, "Why was I chosen to be gay?" And like you said, I also tried to change it by going out with girls and TRYING to find that romantic feeling towards her. I just couldn't do it. I knew deep down that I was gay, but just pretended to be straight to everyone. I just recently came out to a few of my friends and they all accept me just fine. If you plan on coming out, I would recommend that you come out to people who you know will accept you. Later on, when you feel comfortable, you can come out to everyone. And yes, you are right, diversity is a VERY beautiful thing. One day, homosexuality will be accepted, you can bet on that! :)

Couldn't agree more. I ask myself the "why me" question all the time. I just came to the conclusion God gives each person a cross to bear, some smaller than others...this one was meant for me because he thought I could handle it. You can call me a homo or whatever but the greates insult to me is telling me I chose to be this way because no F'n way I want to be gay.