Lying To Myself Again
Well i want to tell people that i'm a liar... I 've always said i don't have any problems with being gay, but i do. I just don't want people to feel bad for me. I have friends and family that support me. What else do i need? I get real lonly sometimes... and it hurts alot. Guys that i've been with, guys that i could have started a relationship with, it never happens like i want it too. I'm lonely. sometimes i feel like i'm by myself and in my head i tell myself that i could do it by myself but i can't.. what i want is someone i could spend a lifetime with. but with my luck it never turns out like i want it too. I don't know if i can survive with just me, i need somebody. It hurts alot sometimes being lonly, especisally when everyone around me has someone by their side. I also tell my friends that i'm just trying to take care of myself right now but i'm lying... My heart aches for someone to be with. All my lost chances with the man of my dreams... all my mistakes, all of their mistakes that i feel guilty of... i'm so sick of being lonely, so sick of not sharing my bed with someone, anyone... i'm so desprete, but can you blame me? I just want to share my life with the one. I hate putting up a front saying that i'm okay with just me. like i said, it hurts so much sometimes, i don't know what to do.