I found out that I was gay in the middle of my teen years and feel comfortable with it, but it's been hard being myself because I haven't come out to my dad yet or my family because I don't know if they'd accept me being in a Christian lifestyle. I've come out to my friends and they thankfully have accepted me. Dating-wise, I also struggle and it seems that I've been through more painful breakups in gay relationships than I did in heterosexual ones before I found out my sexuality and it makes me nervous about the dating scene because a majority of guys I have spoken to and that have been interested in me are significantly more sexually active than I am and rather intense, and love is always mistaken for something else entirely like lust and obsession. There have been some genuine guys or what I think was genuine, but they eventually showed their true sides and were looking out for themselves and they just seem so casual about breaking up and going on like nothing happened. At times it makes me wish I could date women again because in the past when I was 16, I had one relationship with a girl thought of me and my happiness and was so selfless, but it wasn't fair to her because I found myself not feeling an attraction to her or any other woman and I just had to end things with her. It was painful, but she understood and saw what I was trying to figure out, that I was gay. I can't help my sexuality and I've come to terms with it and accepted it, but it's just really difficult and makes a part of me feel that it's somehow wrong because of the experiences that I've been though.
jamie1292 jamie1292
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

sexuality doesn't define a person's motives, anyone can be jerks.
I too want to find the whole monogamous love and I've been heartbroken few times, tricked and all that. But I just keep telling myself that it is going to be okay, and as long as I still feel the way that I do, I know for sure someone is out there for me. I just need to bump into them.