I Am a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual But No One Can Know.

For those who feel like they are uncool, no one knows them and they're just not one of the popular kids, I feel for you but then again I would rather put myself in your shoes than to live a life that I have right now where everyone surrounds me expect something of me or even look up to me and admire the person they think I am. While they do not know I am bisexual or gay or lesbian perhaps. I know they wouldn't be proud of that. I am even starting to hate myself because I didn't chose to be this way, this is who I am.
confusion confusion
26-30, F
17 Responses Oct 3, 2007

anyways as I was saying as a young child I was constantly around girls who would molest us kids who were around them. I am damned girl that had been molested not only by my female cousins/relatives but also that some ******* male had violated me as a damned child so I grew up idolizing becoming a man but as a damned female that has got to be damned screwed up. I should have been in a healthy happy relationship with a man but instead spent about 6 years with some dumb *****. Now I know I am attracted to both sexes and I cannot help it. I don't know that I was conditioned this way but as far as I could remember I felt attracted to both sexes which if they don't reciprocate guys or gals can lead to a very disfactorily life and to have those certain obligations to be met. every mother ******* guy I have been attracted to are not into me or I get the freaks who like the smell or taste of **** which mind you I am pretty kinky but I aint down with none of that **** at all but I want for one time a goddamned hot man in bed that fulfills me in a way that I have never been by any ******* woman. right now I am a hater of women because of the **** that a **** used to play head games with. I like this guy but am still confused on whethere I want a man or a ******* woman ughj1111

this is a problem, I used to be around younger girl relatives who were

i am a guy with sexual feelings for a guy i want to perform oral sex on a guy but i am not gay and dont know how to go about this...any ideas?

I have to fake that I'm straight around my family and even try to show interest in guys to keep them off my case even though I'm in a relationship with a girl.

im bisexual but nobody knows :/

I totally feel u !! I'm bisexual but no one knows witch hurts me because I just want to be my self and not be scared that people will hate me for who I am, I tried and tried to make my self believe that I'm normal and that I don't like girls but it has killed my soul a little , I don't have no one to talk to. Other people who r gay or bi or lesbein make it so easily to come out & tell people but NO not me I can't ... How do u guys come out with out people telling you stuff ? What I'm scared of the most is to brake my parents heart. :[ I don't have the corege to come out and say it .. So for now I guess it's just me and some friends who know. But I have excepted the fact that I am bisexual. & proud of it :)) & don't worry you are not alone ! If you want to talk I'm here to listen.

It's really hard..... Actually I just told my BFFs ( 2 ) and my Mum..... My best friends accept me for who I am and so does my mum and I'm very grateful for people like this. Look I came out around a week ago. You just get courage and do it. TRUST THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. If you want to contact me you know what to do hahaha!

First off I wanted to tell you thank you for putting something like this up for people like you & me. Second off don't be scared or ashamed of anything. I feel the same exact way that you do. Although my friends know nobody else does. It's hard to sit down and talk to your family about it. But one day just maybe one day everybody will understand us ! ;)

i am just recently experiencing that feeling and i hate it..i am a girl and i have been in love with my guy bestfriend..but he doenst like me,he is also bisexual..i know i should move on but i feel if i move on i am no going to be officially bisexual..cos ive been liking a lot of women for some time now...loving him is the only thing that makes me a "woman" :(

Never be ashamed of who or what you are, you were created that way so you are exactly who you need to be.

Must be a gift to be able to totally define yourself in three words. You are a whole lot more than that. I think you are YOU. and perfect

thanks again for the comments. I seldom go on here. I still feel a bit the same but I'm busier now and older and still unhappy deep inside. I guess it is true until I really accept myself I can't be truly happy.<br />
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3 people know me being bisexual even though I haven't even been with a woman. I fell inlove with my bestfriend in college and we are still each others' bf and then I fall inlove with another bestfriend and also now my artist, who we both told each other we are open/bi and both closeted. the saddest part she doesn't like me, and she likes someone else so now we are both keeping our secret, I am trying best to protect her. The girl she is with is by far the luckiest person in the world. I envy her but I want the best for my bestfriend even if it means i have to sacrifice my own feelings. It's not like even if I push it she will never look at me the way she sees her, it's a lose-lose situation I hate that I'm in the middle of it all.

Funny I felt that way back in high school and I think I am unpopular now in my university. So true, it makes us want to split ourselves.

i'm so sorry, i know how you feel. i'm in the same boat as you.

Thank you for the advice...I know all that but I'm just my own enemy =(<br />
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On the upside my best friend knows everything and a mutual gay friend of ours...that's about it...<br />
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It's hard living a lie and it's even harder to lie within...Maybe someday I'll find courage. THANK YOU.

**** the ego. And everyone else's egos as well. It's not a choice. <br />
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"Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" -Dr. S<br />
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Just work on telling the people close to you. Your closest friends or family members. Work on telling one a week or a month. Work up to more frequent "outings". This is how I did it and I love it more and more every time. If you hide from yourself, how will you ever find a partner to be happy with?

thank you =)

Well, first don't hate yourself for being gay.<br />
I know the feeling of being rejected or excluded. It's not easy. The best thing to do is accept yourself and try to discover the reason it makes you feel bad.<br />
Try to talk with somebody who understands you, who loves you... a friend?<br />
Life gets better when you know what you are and what you want.<br />
Somebody said:"Until I learned to love myself I was never loving anybody else."<br />
It means love yourself as you are and then you'll discover others love.<br />
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All the best