I Can't Forgive And Forget

I think i really have a mental bock with forgiving. I can't forgive. I hold grudges very strongly. I honestly think i'm an angry soul.I want to forgive and forget. Even with the people i love the most i can't forgive. When someone does something bad or upset me EVERYTHING bad that they've ever done pops up in my head and i get really upset. I feel so bad for the people who have to put up with me cause i know i'm a real pain in the ***. It culd be the smallest thing an i get upset. It's either i'm extremely sensitive, my bi polarness, or the forgiveness blockade. To anyone that has to put up with me i'm really sorry when i get that upset of hold unintentional grudges. i really don;t mean to and i really try to fix it.
enemyinthemirror enemyinthemirror
22-25, F
6 Responses Jan 24, 2012

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." - Nelson Mandela

forgiving is hard to do but once you find away u will feel better. my 1st step father use to beat me and tell me i wasnt worth anything. they devoriced when i was nine. it wasnt easy to do but after some years i finly found i could forgive him. i was 16 when i told him and he died 3 months later. i cant forget what he did but i feel better about myself since i forgave him.

try to be reasonable sometimes maybe it will make yourself much ok

as they say, if it itches then scratch !<br />
you're not obliged to be someone else and hide your real feelings behind any mask.<br />
unless you care so much, that way learn how to control anger flow...and the ways of how to explode it out of your body (sports for example, you should've watched me when I turn into a beast just to take the ball *w* ) !!!<br />
<br />
it doesn't change so fast -not a magical amulet ! But we all will learn more ad days comes by :D

And I am referring to past relationships. I want to change and do things differently with current relationships.

I am the same way! It aches me though. I hate hate hate, but I also wish I could turn back time and do things differently and attempt to forgive, I've gone too long to try now.