Empty Nesting

I just got off the phone with my daughter who is is in the AF....I moved my son in to his dorm to start his sophomore year. I should have been rejoicing in the last 2 days, being able to run naked through my house. I cleaned out my fridge of the crap he likes to eat. I have canceled south park and tosh.o on dvr....but I am so ******* lonely....I know I have to find my own path without my kids. but I still wait to hear what they are up to. I've spent the last 20+years raising them on my own, how do I just leave that behind? It was so much easier to just dive in to work when they were home. My daughter told me tonight I just need to get out of the house, stop focusing on work. She wants me to start on my birdhouses again. So does my son. My kids have been the pinnacle of my existance for so long. How does one just unplug?
wildrumpusbegins wildrumpusbegins
36-40, F
5 Responses Aug 22, 2010

I'm having the same problem. I hate being alone. Thankfully my daughter is good about communicating almost daily via e-mail or text. She lives in Boston. I'm in Atlanta. My son is in San Diego. His communication has become less frequent. We text occasionally during football games (we went to the same university) but otherwise I never know when I'll hear from him. I don't call either of them unless it's the weekend since I know they are occupied with work. I have interests but miss having someone at home who wants to hear about my day or what I'm doing. I am less and less motivated to do anything. Think I'm depressed. It takes a lot of effort to keep going. I've tried various things: church, book clubs, yoga, bunko group. I enjoy being around others but it's so lonely when I go home. I miss my family. Empty nesting is harder than most people realize when you have devoted such emphasis on raising your children. It's difficult to shift gears. Lately I've been doing some "self talk" in 3rd person i.e. telling myself what "Jean" (my name) needs to do. Trying to look objectively to tell myself to move on, discover things you've always wanted to do. But it's hard...really hard. I sympathize with your situation completely.

We love you too!! And OMG you cook too :P ... they would be in heaven !

I love this post and I know you are feeling this way sweetie, so my suggestion to you is two fold. Call me ANY TIME, come over ANY TIME and if you are really desperate I have TWO you can have any time, any day for ANY REASON and they already think you are BEST anyway so you dont have to win them over!! XOXOX (((big hugs))))

God I love you!!! I'll take all 3 of you....anytime!!

beechykeen-you are so right! Isn't it odd how life comes full circle and you find your reflection in your children's eyes?

I do understand what you are going through.31 years ago I had my first child.(my son),then my older daughter and then my youngest daughter 9 years later.Before my youngest daughter graduated high school I had my first grandson.You are fortunate that you can work.I miss cooking for them,hearing about how they were figuring out how the world works,enjoying their many talents.My children are all out on their own and now I have #5 of the grandchildren on the way.The best thing I can share is to really appreciate every moment you get with them now,but use the time wisely to grow and experience new things.You will have more to share with them when you see them and life turns around..they get a chance to be proud of you!!!!