I Hate This...

I think I might be asexual... meaning I basically don't like sex. This is so ******* confusing for me! I know I like girls, I know I like to kiss, cuddle, occasionally make out...but... then what? Finding out I liked girls was hard enough for me to come to terms with, but this is even harder! I'm 16 and I guess this is considered weird. Whenever I dream about anyone, if at all, what we do is cuddle. I LOVE to cuddle. I could cuddle forever! But that's not always enough for most people. I've never had sex before so maybe I just don't know, but I don't know how I'm feeling half the time.. I wish I could figure this entire **** of a problem out. It makes me feel so frustrated I want to cry...
Voodoogirl309 Voodoogirl309
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 13, 2012

Calm down. Cheese and rice. You don't have to have sex, and if anyone tells you you do, or you ought to, or you need to. Then they are *most likely, not trying to help you. Look, don't think about the sex. Sex is ought to be the last thing on your mind. It won't be, you're human, but you have a tremendous opportunity here. Don't look for your "soul mate" don't try to find the person that you can live the rest of your life with and share your sexuality with. Use this opportunity to "Fall in love" with the people around you. That doesn't mean wish well for them, it means finding out who they really are, at their heart. Learning about their wounds, finding out, not how to give or take from them, but how to help them.
Learn to Love in TRUTH. The truth sometimes requires that we slap them around, tell them they've been idiots or they need to change, but to tell them that we need to know them.
Don't worry about the sex. The sex will sort itself out later. Learn to love first, if you can, because Love is way better in the end. It just takes a little effort is all.
Goodluck, and whatever you do just know that you are loved.

I love cuddling, and most activities leading up to sex but then the sex sucks. I hate it. I feel so dirty. I hate my boyfriend tho so that might be it. I can't leave tho because we have a child.

I'm sorry to hear that you're stuck in an unhappy relationship :c

I'm so sorry. You've been caught in a horrible situation. But try not to think of it as being stuck. You are, in many ways, but try to find the Joys in it. You have a child who no matter what will always love you. It's a weird example to use, but even Eminem still loves his Mom, for all that she was really messed up and that he got neglected hardcore. I hope it gets better, both for your sake and for your family's sake.
Whatever you do, just know that you are loved.
If you ever need someone to talk to, or need some help or anything feel free to message me. I'm not on here all the time but If I get it I'll be sure to respond. Always available.

I used to think that way too and my boyfriend at the time took it really personally that I didn't want to have sex. If you don't want to, then don't. Just try not to make the mistake I did which is doing it just to make someone else happy. Take care of yourself and find someone who respects you. And cuddling is the bomb. lol. I would cuddle all day if I could too. :)

Thank you for you're advice and support. I posted this 6 months ago and am still really struggling with it, but I know I'll figure it out <3