I Am Losing Faith.. Things Are Just Going Wrong ,, I Pray Things Will Turn Around But Nothing

I Remember it starting ,, with my early childhood,we lived so happy and free.. There Wasnt A Care I Had In The World, My Mom And Dad Tried Very Hard To Support Us ... And Put Food On The Table.. My Dad Was Always A Man That Was Difficult To Please .. Nomatter how hard you tried .. always negative...
my mother on the otherhand was a very  Religious  woman outgoing ,, who cared much of me and my younger brother.. while my dad was always working...we were always in church on sundays ... participated in classes provided by the church... i have always believed in the father son and holy spirit...Very Strongly.....
as time passed by i started to change.. the way i looked at god ..... we strugled, i have watched to much suffering in the world today around me..
I have seen some of my best friends change personalitys.....they are out for there best interests... drinking  smoking some not sure many drugs..
but have always remained the same old peter..... as time passsed by i got married had 2 beautiful kids..purchased a home ... things seemed great ...
good  stable job ..with great salary..at the time... we were doing allright .. we lived happy ... my mother played a big role in my life ...especcialy when my daughter was born,,She loved her like it was her own ...we were always working. and had her help... 3 years go by and we decided to get a bigger home yo accomodate a growing family,,,that worked out rather well..also ...we always managed to pull thru.....my wifes parents were never there for us in any of our special moments ,, never really show much interest in our kids either... i tried hard to help things to work between us .But.when. his other daughter got married in th same ethnic  background as her  husband ... Things Changed... Me and my wife are european but of different ethnic background,,, but maybe my wifes dad had not liked me from that reason ..i dont know that... as time went buy my new brother-in -law became very successful... and popular in the family ...which made me try harder to fit in ... buy always talked there own language that i could not understand...  from that day my readers things were starting to go the other direction... bad things.. we would go to a casino ... he would almost every time win money... i was always losing money... we starting to use a line of credit out of our house to show  that we had money to purcase a new car... to keep up with them... we were so hooked at spending more than receiving in income.... the saddest part in my life was when my mother was diagnosed with cancer... she manged to fight it for 3 years.. but lost the battle in 2008....and past -away ....she was very religious...and i remember  she asking the lord why me ... i have served you all my life ,,, my duties ,,, here are hot done ,,, i want to see my grand kids grow-up... her prayer was unanswered,,,,
from the day she passed away it has been total destruction ... my dad is unstable lonely confused ...he had his entire retirement planned ...bought a property in florida ... just as he reached his retirement .... we also eventually lost our house ..we were forced to sell we had run up credit cards so bad we could not keep up... my wife got very sick due to an illness combined with depression ... i had to stop work for awhile ..for i was trying to help her deal wyth this sickness... we lost our jobs ... we lost our familys ...my wife no lomger speaks to hers ... and she no longer wants to.. they were never there when  she needed them ..for support ....  my brother and i have not spoken since my mothers funeral... and last i have heard they lost there house also.... we now have recently moved out of the city so far ....just to get away from it all... where no-one knows where  we are till we figure things out....
we are very numb as to how we got to this phase in our lives.... we are praying everyday ...that the next day will be different ...but there is no change....
we have tried lottery ... to give us a boost but nothing ... i have given up hope .. there have been thought at times of suicide,,,,, but i think of my chikdren and wife ,,, i cant leave them this way ,,,, have tried spiritual help ... but no answers .... sometimes in life please try and enjoy evey minute because you will never know how fast it can be taken away.....i have started to loose faith in god .. why does he not answer my prayers for help why ??? is he punishing me????       REQUEST FOR HELP PLEASE ,,,,,,,,
kjhoward kjhoward
3 Responses Apr 4, 2011

I would always think the same thing "why is god punnishing me?" I have come to realise that its not God who was punnishing me, I was punnishing myself, I was making myself suffer. Id feel so far away from him. Just know that you are not alone, their are others who feel the same way. Maybe your asking the wrong people for help...<br />
Maybe God wants you to come to him...<br />
Pray and ask him what is the meaning of your suffering and open up the bible and try to find some answers.... I pray you find your way back to him.<br />
God bless you and answer your prayers.<br />
Ill be praying for you.

GOD works in ways we can not see.have you forgiven everyone do you forgive yourself.keep doing what you know is right ,keep sowing good in the fleash,say no to sin and yes to GOD,get up early and pray keep believing GOD will work everything out kick the devil out and say no i going to believe what you say GOD.not by my feelings,read GODS word aply it to your life,its a lamp to your feet and most of all wait apon him you will know he is right with you,working things out hes plan for your life

they say everything happens for a reason. that it's all tests for us to over come, to see if we keep the faith, to improve us as people and as souls. ive been dealing with some bad stuff over the last 8 months and ive been where you are. i was close to ending it all, it crossed my mind numerous times until one day it changed. i broke down and i cried and forcefully and then mercfully asked, begged and pleaded to god for help, guidance, to please help me. it wasnt instant but id say two days later i felt the desire to go to church and not just any church but a specific one. having never been to church i was weary but i went anyways. 5 minutes into the serman i felt what i call the hand of god reach into me and remove the negative feelings, followed by an unnormal warmth as if i was filled with warm liguid. i started crying, knowing what it was i was feeling. i was feeling god. slowly, things have gotten better over the months as i continue to pray. i have faith that if you ask and stay true things will workout for you. as god, to remover the negative energy from you as well and to give you protection from it. dont give up and dont give in. best of luck to you and GOD BLESS