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I Am Struggling With Religion

I Hope This May Help Some.

By: soulfireRW
Written on May 27th, 2008
Age: 31-35
588 people have read this story

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6 responses
  • ispreadthetruth

    I like the way your mind works, and if there were more people like you, the world would be a far better place. However I can't share the God you believe in. If you feel it is right for you, that is good. I would just like you to look at God logically (just humour me).

    You can't see the God we are told about, if you pray to him, he doesn't answer your prayers and yet these religious people can tell you what he says and what he thinks. Unless we had been told about him we wouldn't have thought him up. The great power that I cannot dispute is God, is there to see but cannot be looked at, and sustains life itself. There is nothing more powerful in our life, it may know us individually but I doubt it. It makes us happy enhancing the world with its light while causing disasters that kill thousands of us at one time.

    It does not take a lot of intelligence to see why people don't want to accept this as God, while we are being told of this kind God looking after us.

    I have said my piece and I think you will remember my belief. But to be happy and to help others to be happy is the most important thing for us.

    I too am a Pagan (not a modern one) and belonged to a group for a long time. If you would like to discuss Paganism it may be better to use the whiteboard.

    Paul

    Dec 28, 2009
    1 like
  • soulfireRW

    I went through a similar experience in life. I grew up catholic. I became disolutioned. Then I became a Christian and I found great hypocracy. So I felt if the God they promote is cruel and heartless and judgemental I would not believe in him. I thought their God was a satist and I would not support that. So for 8 years I was a very happy atheist. The guilt and pain left and I live life for me. I gave and helped people for me. I choose to the love the world for me not because someone told me I would go to hell if I didn't. And illness struck me, and I blamed no one as God did not exist for me. So like I said I decided this world needed someone to love it, and I thought I could do that.



    I believe church is in your heart, and your prayer is giving love and showing love to this world. I find many religions hypocritical. I know God loves and forgives us all. I know God would love us to be kind, loving and caring, but this is our free world, that he/she through evolution created for us to learn, play and experience physical life in. But if we choose not to, God/Divine energy will still absorb us back into the stream of loving consciousness.



    This is why I believe there are many paths to the source of all that is, even atheism. I wish all those of faith or lack of faith could learn to love each other, but even if they don't I still love them and so does the Divine.



    Thank you for your story, very beautiful. It is so wonderful to hear that you give of yourself for love and not brainwashing or blackmail. Thank you for choosing a life of beauty and love.

    Dec 27, 2009
    1 like
  • ispreadthetruth

    I admire the strength of your belief but please let me explain. At the age of ten, I remember being in a church, to which I went each week, I knew the service off by heart and wondered why a super inteligence would want to hear the same thing over and over again. The sun shone through the stain glass windows and I knew I shouldn't be wasting my time there.

    It took me another six years before I broke from the church, I had my life in front of me and I was looking for the truth. I had an idea in my mind but it was far too simple for me to believe and so obvious that I couldn't understand why nobody else ever mentioned it. I kept looking at other religions and only found one that came near but there was still something missing.

    Looking in a logical way made it easier and I asked myself, What keeps me alive? What does everything rely on to live? What makes plants grow? What is the greatest power we know, God isn't an imaginary being in your head that has to be prayed to, it is there to see.

    Worshipping God is pointless as it hasn't got an ego, that is a mankind thing. If it detects us at all it is probably as a destructive virus destroying the earth.

    I believe in love and goodness to those we share the planet with. Why do it under the guise of religion and possibly for a place in a heaven. Do it because you want to do it. I work free for a charity, a minimum of 56 hours over a seven day week, there is nothing special in doing it, it's something that needs doing. Mind you, I would like a holiday, the last one I had was in 1986.

    While I work I think of all the experiences I have had, enjoying life, dying and coming back to life,

    having perfect love then loosing it, feeling the bottom fall out of life, seeing the beauty of the mornings and evenings, I could go on.

    The world is an enchanted place, if you look at through the right eyes, but as a person you are alone and have to make your way through life by yourself. Have your dreams but know them as dreams, a crutch to help you through life. This is why religions survive.

    Dec 26, 2009
    2 likes
  • soulfireRW

    Your name is interesting, how did you come by the "TRUTH" you speak? Did you meet this power and it told you so. Or do you also cling to your understanding as the rest of us cling to ours? Everyone has the right to understand the Divine power in their own way, whether it be "right" or "wrong". The universe was created for us to play, learn and experience it in any way that we choose. You choose to see God as a destructive force and choose to see God as a loving force. Perhaps we are both correct. You say my faith is a myth and I am weak to cling to it. I wish to tell you how I came to this loving force. You still may choose not to believe in what I say, but I tell you it was the most real experience I have had. I was not on drugs, nor am I delusional. It was a personal experience and I don't expect anyone to understand what I went through, but it is here for you to hear. My love and light be with you.



    I was an atheist at a very low point in my life. I felt I could do nothing because of an illness I was suffering. So I decided that since there was no God I would love everyone in the world. All I had to do was love them, it cost me nothing and I could do it right from my bed I was trapped in. I had issues with "evil" people. The ones who committed terrible crimes. I finally figured that we all come into this world innocent. Uncorrupted by religion, politics, social restrictions and the challenges that life creates for people. I decided it was that innocence I could love, that tiny piece that was buried deep beneath the pain of this world. So I went to meditate and said to this world, to the universe that I love it. I love all who are in it. I love the innocent spirit that resides in all people. I wish to give my unconditional love to this world and universe. And then the most unbelievable thing happened to me. I connected with the Spirit, the Creator, the Energy that binds the universe. My spirit left my physical body to become one with the Spirit. I was wrapped in unconditional love, peace, bliss and ecstasy. I felt the knowledge of everything, I felt connected to everything that ever existed, did exist and would exist. I never, ever wanted to leave that feeling of pure bliss. I thought I could never love anything more then my husband, but I was wrong, this was the spirit of all things and through it all was the Creator’s energy, that energy was unconditional love. I felt as if the whole universe was pouring love into me, it was the be all and end all of the universe. I knew I had to return to my body but I didn’t want to go. I was at complete peace and wrapped in perfect love. When I returned, my body shook and was covered in sweat. I cried tears of joy so profound I could not stop. I believe! We are all one with the Great Spirit; our soul is this Great Spirit of Love. We are only separated from it by this physical world we use to create in. I know now that anyone can reconnect to this Primal loving energy by giving what we truly are in spirit, Unconditional Love.

    Dec 24, 2009
    1 like
  • ispreadthetruth

    This God you are talking about is a myth made for the weak to cling to in this hard life.

    The real God is not a man but a power and is trying hard to reduce our numbers to prevent us destroying the earth anymore.

    The law I abide by is, 'If it harms none do what you will'.

    Dec 23, 2009
    1 like
  • soulfireRW

    I do not understand your question. Do I believe you can find God through Christianity? I believe in Christ's message, that of love. I don't personally follow the laws and rules assigned to Christ's message by humans, for example the bible.



    Dogma to me meant rules assigned to God and only in following these rules will you gain his favor. My message given to me by God is that, though he/she would love everyone to love everyone else as God loves them, it is not required in order to attain his favor. I may mis-understand the word dogma and perhaps that is where our confusion lies with eachother?



    The poetry written in these pages are my own and not Divinely given. So if I made a human error in my use of words, please forgive me.



    If this is not what you meant and would like to chat further about any mis-understandings please feel free to post again.

    Aug 23, 2009
    1 like