Confusion Or Just Plain Lost..

I have been raised Catholic since I was little. My grandparents took me in as an infant and I had to live in a strict-Catholic household. I went to a public school then transferred to a private elementary and went to a private high school..I am just soo confused now about the religion..

Like ever since 8th grade, I have had weird thoughts..I was a closeted bisexual at that time and was going through a rough was my most darkest period of my life (ages 12-16) I dressed alternatively and my grandma didn't like it. I used to think I was grandma and I would argue because I never wanted to go to church (and i still don't) unless theres a special occasion (such as Christmas or Easter..) I am now 19 almost 20, and I still have to deal with this constant battle of going to church every Sunday or "i'm committing a sin"

How in the world am I committing a sin if I don't go to church EVERY Sunday? I understand the basics of the Catholic religion, I still have my strong morals..I just don't understand..Our world today is changing and I have no idea if it's what is going on in the world that is affecting my belief in religion or what.

My mom also just passed this April, and I had a vision that she told me to go to church (although my mom wasn't a church goer either; she also had a lot of health issues) If someone could please help me to get this figured out, much would be appreciated. I have days where i feel like I SHOULD go to church then others when i WANT to go...then there are those days where i'm lazy and just dont want to go.
xpetiteetoilex xpetiteetoilex
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 27, 2012

These things are really complicated but one thing is for sure: you don't HAVE to go to church just because family or other people pressure. Faith is something very unique and abstract and it's very hard to give advices in cases like this. You've been in a difficult time of your life and it's normal to feel like you are right now, but don't punish yourself for not wanting to go to the church... it's better if you go when you're felling ok with yourself than going against your willing just because "you'd commit a sin if you don't go".... I'm not religious and I'm not sure if I believe in any gods, but I do respect other people religion and I think that church should help people to fell better. If you want to talk more about it just let me know! Hope you get better!!!