I Want To

I want to.
I can't tell you, whoever the hell that is, how much.
I want to break the skin, see the blood grow and spill over the edge. I need too. So badly. I can't tell you how much how much I god damn want too!

But I can't hurt myself, not today. Not because I'm trying not too, or that I'm in some kind of therapy but no, it's because those selfish....people, who don't even know, so how could they possibly understand? are stopping me. I already have too many scars, in places that are visible to their penetrating eyes in lesser clothing, such as 'holiday' clothing. I didn't need a god damn holiday. But I had one, and the dilemma appeared.
It's suffocating. I need the pain to wake me up before I damage those around me. How aimless they are.

I just don't know anymore...
TwistedHope TwistedHope
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 19, 2012

you are so young! I only now read that part of ur profile. Believe me! You don't know what true hell is till ur at least out of high school.

what are you REALLY trying to say? I can understand ur difficulty in letting go, & letting it just pour from ur body. I want to as well, but I can't seem to let myself either