Going Nowhere With My Job, Life, Everything

Today am feeling fried,  totally sexually starved so my brain is fixated southwards looking for some salvation.  At the same time my brain is required to focus on tasks assigned to me.  I am employed as a Programme Officer -Training, yet I feel that this is not good enuff for me.  I need some graowth and challenges some learning so that I am not just stuck in this cocoon of  no brainer trainer.

So I asked for some job rotation for some on-the-job experience and have a mentor in the process.  The result has been a black out of sorts and I am frustrated.  I have never really been involved in program design nor development of concepts or proposals and tenders nor are previous applications made available to compare as a template.  I am so ******* frustrated.  right now my life just seems like one big mistake and I do not want to feel this way coz I have kids and they need to be confident and have a bright outlook to life. 

I am an eager worker and learner but aspects of support, mentoring, guidance, information sharing and training are totally lacking in this organisation .

I believe that given the way my boss is giving me the cold shoulder treatment, it spells doom for me.  We have been asked to reapply for our contracts in september yet the contracts were up to the end of the year.

I am not scared of losing my job, I just wish I could find a place where I can experience some growth.  I have applied for further studies and will have to vet my choices very well to ensure I get the best possible education, now if only my application for scholasrships and short trainngs could be accepted.

I am scared that if I continue on this road, I am going to have a mental breakdown,  I feel like I am going through a melt down. Rescue me please.  I have prayed, asked around written letters but I am seemingly yes, stuck in a rut"

LifesaBeach69 LifesaBeach69
2 Responses Jul 29, 2009

This is the problem with corporations and what it's done to America. The only people at the top are the one's who went to Stanford and they have a tight circle that they don't let outsiders penetrate. Everyone else to them are just brainless sheep that keep their machine afloat. This is our future like it or not. I'm 35 and have absolutely nothing to show for it but failure. But that's alright it depends on your version of failure, I myself am speaking sociologically. My best advice for you is just be happy you have a job, that your not living in a third world country, starving or going through genocide. When you leave work bust out of that ******* place and live, play volleyball, start hiking, play tennis, join a community center, get into running, go camping, hang with close friends and have a glass of wine, live, live, live, make life your job. All these things are cheap and obtainable but people forget about them cause their so worried about progression. You know what the man hates the most, is when your free, out there living and having a good time. Life's to short to worry about your position at work you'll never find happiness there you'll only pay the bills, it's been designed that way since the thirties. Keeping us slaves just enough to were we barley hold on to this hope of the illusive fantasy of this so called American Dream. If you believe that you are in a dream. Do what you have to do to feed your kids, that's the right thing to do. Outside of that there's a whole big world out there to explore don't let the man take that from you. D

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