It's Finally Over - Never Saw It
The last nail has been hammered into my marriage of 1 year and 9 months! I guess we were never meant for each other. It hurts! It hurts ALOT! I have twin baby girls of just over a year!
I finally realised how little this marriage mean to my husband. Instead of working on his marriage, he choose to spend the day in the garden! Can you believe that!!!
I am tired of crying. I am tired of waiting. I am so empty inside. This whole time I were still waiting for something from his side, but this said it all. He care more about the garden than me!
This morning he didn't turn of the road we normaly take home and for a moment there I got excited. I thought, maybe he came to his senses, maybe he's taking me out for breakfast. Boy, how wrong can I be! He just stopped at the cafe for bread! I am so stupid to expect anything from him!
I am sitting here, tired, shaking, with tears building up. There's nothing left for me to do. I am broken! I've been through a divorce before and I said I never want to go through it again and here I am with all that worthless feelings coming to the surface again. It is hard to know that I am not good enough for someone. My first husband cheated on me - I probably drove him away, just as I did now with this husband! I feel useless, worthless, absolutely unloved! I think maybe it is time I forget about relationships and try make it on my own!