My Mind Is Going

I used to be pretty intelligent then some life issues ***** me down going to jail for 4 months my charges later dropped marihuana use and weight gain just daploma i often speak to fast and have trouble seeing things right in my face smart people have a hard time dealing with me and all that science stuff is no help supposedly being black predispose me to stupidity its realy damaging to ones psyche i reject those ideas but they still linger in my mind i want to be smart