The Beginning.

Submissive Journal, Entry 1.
February 17th, 2011

It's since been months that I've found my Master. Through him, I am finding things about myself, things I have known, to be quite true, and real. Things I could never figure as rational, complacent thoughts and instinctual urges, have suddenly been validated. I am quite beside myself, having finally found the soul that I have always dreamed of to be my Master. The overwhelming feeling of freedom that I have been experiencing under his hand has shed a new light on my existance. His gift of security is changing my life day by day. I'm beginning to think about my art once again, something I have abandon for far too long. Inspiration is everwhere.

Our relationship is surely still new, however it feels as if he has always been the only one for me. Perhaps this is because it is true. No matter the situation, without fail, Master seems to always know what is best for me. Even if at the moment of direction, it initially creates emotion of disdain inside of me. I believe this is part of my training process. Accepting the pain and hardships that I am given with grace, and fulfilling my need to make him happy. I choose not to be a submissive of expectation, but instead, of dedication. Serving my Master is what I naturally feel compelled to do. To care for him, to nourish him, and to love his Self and Being. I seldom think of myself, enough so that he is kind enough to keep me on track with that as well. His gifts come in great forms, of which I am very grateful.

Meeting as we did, in this digital age, we have yet to have become residual being that we are 2000 miles apart. So for now, we communicate through our ability to exchange messages at lightning speed, and he guides me with his thoughts and process' throughout my days. For this, I am also thankful. It's hard to explain, my mind just feels much more clarity with his guidance.

Things I did for my Master today included tying my hair back just so, applying my lipstick, and working hard at my job. Each task performed with delicate precision & intent, as I expect he'll pick up on any lazy doings even from afar. Though he wasn't acutely aware of my instinctual doings, his senses picked it up from all that way, and I was granted time to give myself an ****** before I was allowed to leave work. It was a little difficult, with the store being busy, and my coworkers socializing only ten feet from the bathroom door. I could hear everything going on out there.. I disconnected myself, and let my mind dance over that memories of my last week, of the love that we made. My Love brought me to L.A. to see him and my new dwelling. It was quite wonderful, and has enlightened me even further so. He handles me in the most perfect ways, that letting my thoughts relive and anticipate more of him, brought me a tremendous ******, along with a nice sweat. I then went home and made the most perfect pizza for my dinner, and placed each piece on it exactly how I would want him to have it. I cannot wait to make him happy everyday, in my favorite ways to do so. Which are every way really, when it comes down to it.

My wings have opened.

kimberleesknees kimberleesknees
26-30, F
May 8, 2012