I Am Both Really. But I Have Interalized This Side More.

When I was growing up, In my adolescence I had a girlfriend. From about the tender age of 13 to 16.. my friends would try to take me out on the town sometimes, I would go but I would end up invariable on the phone or online talking to her. I was not able to go all of that long without communication unless there was some reason, like a snow storm that knocked out the power, and stranded both of us.  she lived quite a far way away and It was an internet thing, I have to admit that much. but we talked. we talked EVERY SINGLE DAY we could

my friends, told me I was incapable of havign a man's night and accused me of being "Whipped" and when I asked what they meant they linked me to articles about being ***** whipped.

time becomes a blur but everything I see these days is twilight, with ultra controlling male figures.  I want a dominant woman, not just inside the bedroom. I am fluid in the bedroom

i have internalized this. Our culture expects men to be dominant and aggressive. I hate our culture. I disagree. I want to REBEL. How can I rebel the strongest?

and so like a fire inside I am drawn to being submissive towards her. She has to deserve it. She has to genuinely be worth walking thru the fire for, but when I am there I am there and  it is rebellion of the finest and most delightful degree. **** what they'd say.... She is master and I am servant. That is, hottness, that is thumbing my nose at the patriarchy, that is my way of saying **** you insufferable ********... I do not want control. I only take it because so many women INSIST on it. one of the girls I was with lately insisted on calling me master. I did not want it. I wanted her ot be MINE.

I don't want power, I don't want control. I want....you to take it from me....

such is forbidden, hence the allure.
ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix
31-35, M
May 23, 2012