I Don't Know Why This Is...

I've been wanting things being done to me that would make me more submissive lately. I've been wanting to wear lingerie, even though it isn't submissive to me, for people, be tied up, used, abused, abandoned for hours, shared, made to do things, etc. It is starting to bother me, but it turns me on so much!
rsunour1 rsunour1
22-25, T
1 Response Sep 6, 2012

Sometimes you see these things and you want it to happen to you to turn you on, I feel the exact same way. But when I step into the real world or even just onto my porch after a normal day and think about it I'm not always as sure. I'll promise you one thing though, since my boyfriend and I have started to approach our new D/s (i'm submissive obviously) relationship I have never been happier. Find someone you can relate to, love and trust. He has tied me up, and he has his way. One of the things I promised (it's all what I say really and he goes by those limits) to never say no to him, so he'll shove his hand into my pants while I'm cooking for him in the kitchen, and my mother will be feet away or just on the other side of the wall, or -like today- my father and younger sister will be around us, talking to us, etc while he is fingering me and elsewise pleasuring me under a blanket. He absolutely loves seeing me struggle with staying quiet because I'm a screamer and he tries to get me to stay still, cause i squirm. I trust him, though, and we've reached a point in our relationship where all of those things are (more than) ok.
Consider also the outside aspects of these relationships. Every single day, not just in the bedroom, it's what he says goes. I can go days or weeks without seeing him and I will not argue (only a little pouting) because he says so. Most of my days I go to class early in the morning so that I can lay down with him around 11am and I will just lay there until he wakes up, I am not allowed to wake him without prior permission. I can be laying still in the dark for thirty minutes to five or six hours, it just depends. Immediately upon his awakening I begin arousing him, once he's awake enough I pleasure him until he comes or until he's done. And then I wait, holding him and getting him whatever he wants, until I am dismissed basically. I have been late to work because of this. Another note on work, I do not wear underwear, it is easier access to him. At work, sleeping, with my family or weeks without seeing him, I do not wear underwear unless I am wearing a shirt or dress that REQUIRES a bra. It is a serious commitment.