My Family Is Against Me

Ok so my family doesn't agree with me being in a submissive position in my relationship. They say I'm crazy, that my Sir is and taking advantage of me, they hate I'm and everything negative you can think of. They don't understand that I am happy and i enjoy my relationship. Besides the fact that I enjoy pleasing my Sir and i love the relationship we have, I have never lived this comfortable in my life. I want for nothing. So my family calls me stupid for going along and agreeing with everything he tells me to do but they don't think its wrong when they are doing it to me.

Not only am I submissive in my relationship but I'm submissive in life. I have a hard time saying no to people and my family know that. Its OK for them to "take advantage" of me but they have a problem when they feel an outsider is doing it.
My sister who hates my Sir with all her heart for no reason except she says he took her sister is the main one always jumping down my throat about me needing to have a backbone and stop letting people walk all over me. She calls me yesterday and says, " the TV in my house went out and now my kids can't watch TV. What am I going to do?" I tell her to do buy a new one and she lets me know that's not possible right now with Xmas coming up. She says' " Your boyfriend has lots of them in that damn house you think I can have one? Its for the kids". I tell her, " I don't know about that sis these are his TV's I can't just give you one". She says, " Girl he probably won't even notice. I'm on my way". She hangs up before I can even say anything else.

Almost an hour later she is pulling in the driveway and I'm freaking out. She comes right in goes to the basement and i kid you not goes in the game room and starts unscrewing the TV off the wall. In all the time my family has called me stupid for being a submissive person this is a time I can agree. What was I suppose to do. She knows I don't know how to say no. She hops in the car with the TV and leaves. She wasn't even here 10 mins.

The rest of the day I thought about how i was going to tell Sir. I was and still am mad at myself. Im such a pushover. When he got home from practice I was so afraid of getting a spanking that I didn't tell him. Now I feel even worse for not telling him and i need to tell him before he invite people over to play cards or pool and there's no TV. When he finds out my sister of all people who does even like him took hit I'm really going to get it.

How could she do this to me when she talks about me being such a punk already. I don't know what I'm going to do : (
pkcarebear pkcarebear
22-25, F
9 Responses Dec 7, 2012

I am so pleased that everything turned out alright with your Sir, sometimes we need to let go of the people around us even if they are family to be able to be the person we choose to be.

<p>Hi pkcarebear. I suggest that you throw yourself on SIR's mercy today. Tell him that you are not able to oppose your family any more than you can assert your will against him. Tell him that your bad sister came and took HIS tv, and you don't know what to do. SIR can then call the police or call your sister and demand his property back.</P>

I think some type of therapy would be great for me Redrubies to have someone to talk too about this. With family there is no privacy or personal business. They go out of there way to be extremely nosey. I have never came out and told my family about my lifestyle, they are like investigators when it comes to my life. They pop up at our home they show up to events. I had to stop all social networking to cut them out of my life . He's never done anything for them to hate him. I think they just hate the fact that they know they can't use him. These people I call my family are crazy. Smh.

Oh, this is quite awful Pkcare, I am sorry your family is like this. Truly, I think meeting with a therapist would really help you feel stronger and set boundaries. It is good to speak with someone specifically trained in these areas; they can offer all sorts of ideas and resources.

Ahem, I have a family member that likes to "show up" and I know it can be challenging to deal with! For now I think it would be helpful if your Sir was firm with them regarding the rules of his house but does not engage in any of the "back and forth" silliness. Please see if you can meet with a therapist to work on your inner strength :)

Thank you guys so much for your support. What my sister did was so wrong and I'm mad at her. When Sir came home today I sat down and I told him. He wasn't mad at all. He was very understanding and said he wants me to stand up to my sister. We talked, I cry, we laughted and he assured me that everything is going to be okay. I feel so much better and I promised him I would never keep anything from him again. He is so supportive. When he gets out the shower we're going to go to Walmart and probably pick up another TV. I'm not gonna let what happened to me break me not when I have such a good man in my corner. I love home. Thank you guys

So happy to know it's going well for you and Sir :) *thumbs up*

This is a prime example of why I am so private. Your relationship details and dynamic are nobody's business except for you and your Sir's.

I'm sorry about your sister; she was really disrespectful of you. Have you thought of perhaps taking some assertiveness training courses? Being a submissive is fine, but being submissive to all those around you can be very damaging.

I also think you'd do well to perhaps see a therapist to work on being able to express yourself better when these incidences occur (work, family, life in general). He /she can help you determine and set boundaries for people like your sister.

Wow I was totally shocked at what your sister did - reading this is making me angry at her and your family. And you should totally tell your Dom about it (and probably about everything else your sis or family do in general). He would totally understand and know it's not your fault (although you might still get a spanking) because he knows you. It's always better to tell him everything, trust me. You're so submissive and so sweet, thank you for sharing and I wish you lots and lots of happiness <3

Most families have this type of negative reaction. It is worth it so you plow through.

please give us an update. I hope everything went all right

Thank you sooo much bisubmissivewife. You put a smile on my face and your right about me being able to go talk to him. I will let you know how everything goes.