Submissive In Need Of Advice

I'm 19 and I have always wanted to be in a D/s or M/s type of relationship. For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated by willingly and trustingly giving someone else total control over me. Unfortunately, most guys my age never took it seriously, and our brief D/s type of arrangements would only be used for a few roleplays and that would be the end of it. But that was never enough for me, I always wanted to take it to the next level and be able to actually be a submissive all the time with the right guy, not just in the bedroom. I recently met a guy who is 10 years older than me (we didn't find out about the age gap until after we'd been talking for a while, he thought I was much older than I actually am and said I'm very mature) and by that point we'd discussed how we both want to be part of a D/s relationship but neither of us could seem to find people who took it seriously like we did, so we opted to try it out with each other. (He has a good amount of experience with this, but according to him it was always difficult to find women who want this just as much as he does.)
He is extremely kind and caring towards me, and he's definitely earning my trust while at the same time helping to teach me how to be a good sub. He knows that I have limits and respects them and doesn't make me feel afraid or nervous. I want nothing more than for my relationship with him to flourish and for us to be happy. Already, just a few weeks into this I already feel very happy and content, almost like I've found my "purpose," I guess you could call it that anyway. I can't think of a better word at the moment. He tells me that he'll teach me and instruct me along the way but I still figured I should do some "research" of my own, for lack of a better word and get some advice from others, and since I don't personally know anyone in real life (with the exception of him) that is into this sort of thing. I appreciate any advice you want to give me & sorry for the length. :)
SubliminalThoughts SubliminalThoughts
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

I strongly suggest you start a membership on Fetlife.com (free). There you will find thousands of likeminded people, ideas, advice, support.

Communication, communication and more communication. The D/s bond you will try out together is based on a growing trust and setbacks will be very difficult to overcome.
At first discuss the scene in every details soothes no surprise, use a safe word and let Him lead you more as e gains you're trust.
It sounds like he's a Loving Dom so if you want to do your homework, here's a suggestion for a start:
A different Loving by Dr. Gloria G. Brame is a primer on the true relationship and the power exchange you're looking forward to.

Thank you!

the only advice I have is do NOT "play" the first time you meet him. trust me on that. stick to your guns and don't let your libido and desperation let you sacrifice your hard limits.

Thank you, we've actually met up several times over the past few weeks but for the first few we didn't do anything except talk - I wanted to get to know him better.

awesome!