I Want Nothing More Than to Submit

At this point in my life and for the last 10 years or so I have wanted nothing more than to submit to someone I love sexually and emotionally.  I guess it could be a man or a woman as I am bisexual.  This is my flaw and my thorn t bear in life.  Right now I am not experiencing it and it is a weight I carry every day.  My desires are so strong I don't know what to do with them. 

My husband and I tried this and it was going fairly well but he is in fact vanilla.  For those not into the scene it means he doesn't naturally desire these things.  He tries them for me and tries to be dominant but it is something he has to force himself to do.  Right now he is dealing with a chronic illness that takes all his energy so this is the last thing he wants to think about. 

On the other hand it is what I think about a lot of the time.  I long to give my body and soul to someone who will care for me and train me.  I long to be corrected and admired by someone who cares enough to take the time.  I guess I long for a master or a mistress.  Right now I don't have one-I was close but she backed out before we started.  I feel tremendous guilt for wanting this but on the other hand it is what I really want and I'm not hurting anyone by moving forward with this.  We'll see if I can find what I'm looking for soon.

fortysomethingwife fortysomethingwife
46-50, F
6 Responses Mar 13, 2009

I am here for you .I am a Dominant man or Master. I have been in the lifestyle for years, I would love to help you explore the side of you that is screaming to be set free. lets talk and if nothing else maybe i can help by answering your questions.

If I had to live the rest of my life with out submitting/surrendering, I would literally die. Mabey your husband would understand your needs and let you have a Master?

be who you are..make no excuses...

I'm sorry, sweetheart for your longing, I'am a male submissive and I have the same feelings and desires as you do. Perhaps you can let your husband know that your soul is in pain and see if he can help work this out. Plread my profile and contact me,if you like and we can share experiences. Hang tight,in there, things will come around for you.

"I long to be corrected and admired by someone who cares enough to take the time. " - Well put

flower looks up at you and smiles<br />
<br />
i know excactly how you feel...i am in the same position<br />
<br />
i feel like i am ...dying...<br />
<br />
sorry if that is dramatic..<br />
<br />
but i am wasting away...