21 Of The Worst Days Of My Life

I'm lost right now. He cut me off without a word or a real legitimate reason. Three years and he could just walk away. One of the most brilliant, romantic, considerate, handsome, compassionate, my God I can go on and on. He could love me in a way I have never experienced before. I was so grateful to be his, to be a part of his life, and to feel his love. Then apparently it stopped. Long distance is tough and lonely, compounded with other problems makes it nearly impossible. Yesterday I hit my breaking point. He broke me. I don't know if he hates me or not, and some days I can hate him just as much for wasting my time, and making me feel and believe that I found my partner for life. I finally gave up. No more hope. He's showing me in many ways without words that I truly don't matter and furthermore that I never did. I cry multiple times everyday, at times inconsoleble. My world has come to a screeching halt, I can't focus on anything. Talk about a world blown apart. So mad that I allowed someone to have that much power over my life and to be able to blow it apart. He gutted me for the world to see and left a shell. My spirit is broken and the light has gone out. I adored everything about him, and all I wanted to do was love him. But what can you do when someone won't love you back. I'm left holding this bag. Tomorrow is without promise or direction. I lost my best friend and love and my job within a month of each other. If I had known I would be in this much pain I would have walked the other way when I encountered him. I could go on and on in my sea of sorrow. I am forever changed by the actions of a selfish, self serving person, who wasn't honest about who he was and whose actions left me exposed, devastated and not reparable. I was with someone who the only way I can describe it as evil. I didn't deserve what and how he did it. God help me.
pprrnnccffaann11 pprrnnccffaann11
41-45, F
6 Responses Jan 14, 2013

It will be ok stay strong

Im going threw the same thing... I feel for u no one deserves to go threw this pain its horrible.. Ive had no comunication for a month today with my ex.. I know what u mean about letting someone have power over u like that. Its really sad but really its his loss.. I still cry all the time but I have faith that im going threw all this for a reason.. Im so sorry you are going threw this...

It's about to be four months and I still cry everyday, even though I tell myself that I am not going to. He sent me an email, not long ago, and his situation is worse than I thought. I just miss him terribly. But I can't make someone want to try for me. He won't even try for himself. I am sorry to hear of anyone going through this, as only someone who has been through it or is going through it has any idea of what you are feeling. Please be well. Hugs.

keep loving, dont let this experince change the way you love. how you love and how much you give away. Cliche--->"time heals!" and its cliche for a reason. its true. yes it will hurt. and yes you wiil cry and keep crying. cry until it hurst to cry. if feels good. feel the pain. ... let it wrap you around for a bit. but then fight bacl and come to terms with it. accept it. in that acceptance I found a serenity that I cant explain. I know its totally easier said than done because nothing right now will probably fill up that hole in your stomach, but know, just know that you will get better. you will. TRUST .. God Bless

Thank you. Some days I am super strong, others not so much. I just want the pain to be over with. It's overwhelming, and stifling. Thanks for the advice I am heeding it. God bless you too.

I have no words of advice but just want to give you a hug in support. ((((Hugs))))

Use each day to gain strength from this experience.

Thank you, much appreciated. :) Hugs back

It's incredible to hear your words because I can relate, it's as if I'm talking to myself. Every thought you mentioned has crossed my mind. And yet it seems to get no better. Apparently, time heals all wounds, but in what time? I hope you can find happiness again in other aspects of your life, I know I have. It's just those lingering thoughts that always get me. And as far as dealing with such a selfish person, be proud that you have emotions, you are giving, you are real.

Thank you.

<p>Time will mend your wound and you will meet someone in the future who truly deserves your love. This grieving is normal and everyone goes through it when they have a loss. That is the chance you take by trying to find your life partner. As the saying goes it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all.</p>

Thank you