The Loss Of Common Sense
And again, the misery comes back because I lose hold of my sanity, lose hold of what my mind tells me to do. My heart is so fragile right now, but it pounds at the sight of his words. And then we talk, have a wonderful conversation, and I expect that it will last that way. Unconsciously, of course I'm expecting for him to care again, to feel some type of way again, to want me again. Those thoughts are quickly replaced with streaming tears and compulsive sadness the moment he tells me he has arrived at his girlfriend's house. The girl with no face, as I always envision her. Some woman with the perfect smile, a wonderful heart, and the love of the man that I want so badly. I hate her, I envy her, I pray she isn't real. But of course she is, and there's my mind wrestling back some sense. But it's all lost at this point, as my heart smirks. He tricked me again.