I Have Broken My Own HeartAt first, I used to think that I wasn't worthy of being loved, let alone liked by men. You know, the whole notion that men are out to get me, or that all men are the same. I was insecure; I felt worthless and far from confident. In retrospect, I've done things that might have looked like I had no respect for myself looking from the outside. For example, if there was a man I was interested in, I had a reoccurring mistake of sleeping with him too soon. Insecurity enabled me to put myself in that position.
As time went on, I realized that these men aren't breaking my heart; I am breaking my heart. Me. Myself. Me, because I chose to give people the power to take advantage of me. I put myself in these self-destructive positions. Sigh. I'm still learning, though.
In recent times, I've decided to go celibate and slow down on the dating scene. I am still very much interested in a man whom I've slept with multiple times. The tricky part is that I'm unsure of his intentions. He never pressures me for anything and overall has a good heart...I hope.
Oh, well. To wrap this up, I've learned that no one will respect me if I don't respect MYSELF first.