So this boy. We dated for quite awhile. On and off. We had so many great memories. Good times and bad. I'm very young, I know. But I'm positive I really loved him. There was always one of my friends who would try to split us up. And sometimes we did. But we'd get back together and be even stronger. I guess when he broke it off, he left me with that hope. I should distance myself but he is the one I want to talk to. He "really likes" this other girl now. It tears me apart. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it. He claims I never loved him because we didn't spend as much time together as we could've. Because I never "proved" my love. I want so much to go back and fix it. To have those memories back. I'm pretty sure he's my first love. I'm not even sure he cares even a little but anymore. It's killing me inside. People around me are trying to get me to let go of him. I want to, but I don't know what's holding me back. :( it's so depressing I sometimes want to tell in his face that he is blind and he never understood anything. He never saw it. It's hard to live with the pain and the only so called reassuring thought is "time heals all wounds" I'm starting to not believe it. We did everything together. And I want it back more than anything, but he's made it clear he's moved on. I can't live like this anymore. I'm not suicidal. It's just so painful.
glowiththeflow glowiththeflow
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2014

life eh ! see love, we'v all been down this lane , sometimes things work sometimes they don't , easier said than done (agreed), but at the end of the day its your life , people move on and i know it hurts , but if it was meant to be it would have lasted and that by that i have no intention of saying that what you had wasn't real, you both tried it and it didn't work, and as much as it would hurt , the truth is we should never hand over keys to our happiness to someone else, don't let this pain take the best of you, make yourself a better person (there is always scope of improvement in all of us ) read more work out more and you'd be surprised so as to how good you'd feel about yourself and how many people want to be near you.
now if you think he was you first love, i am not gonna pretend and say its gonna be fine as its not gonna be fine but as the time passes and you'd find someone who loves you more than him (just give yourself the benefit of doubt) u'll realize whatever happens happens for good

now i don't hold anything against this guy you dated as i am sure he was a nice guy but if someone can move on so easily from someone as yourself is it really worth it !!!!

So miss glow with the flow, you'll always have the best
now smile sunshine :)

Thank you so much :)