To Work Or Not To Work?

So just a quick note.......and question? I really just thought i was lazy at first but i can not mentally or physically tolerate work i get sick physically really bad performance anxiety. I know i catch on easily and im a fast learner but i have never in my 15 years of being able to work have i been able to keep a job! I see in other stories people talk about their jobs and i admit im envious.....

So tell me how have you accomploished this normalcy and how does BPD interfere for you?

By the way i have had about 15 jobs so this is not lack of trying..... :-)
justanotherface22 justanotherface22
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

I'm the exact same... i cant deal with anything for a period of time... i cant even finish school because i cant stay in it long enough.... with work, i get annoyed , and feel physically and mentally drained and sleep doesnt seem to help. I always feel like a idiot because of the fact that i cant stick with anything...

I can never "maintain" long enough to finish anything...

I used to find it really really hard to keep a job. I'd either self distruct and get myself fired or i'd stop showing up because I was so anxious I couldn't leave my bedroom let alone my house!!
I got into regular therapy and on a good mix of medication. For a while I had a psychiatrist and a social worker who helped me to establish coping mechanisms as well I picked up a few books and read up on BPD and how it can affect you in the work place. I find that in this instance knowledge is power the more you know about yourself and YOUR BPD because it is very person specific the better equiped you are to deal with and recognize it. Also I might add that I saw a career specialist who got me to do a few surveys and test this showed me which fields of work I was better suited for which surprisingly really helped me pick a job I knew would be easier on me and my moods and emotions.
Hope this was a little helpful and best of luck.

Thank you for your comments and i definitly see your points, my only issue is that not only do i have an issue sticking with jobs for the same reasons, (self destrucct or stop showing) but i also have a hard time sticking with anything for any period of time. Jobs, friendships, projects, medications, therapy, school, etc. I am the queen of unfinished business! I try the self talk like i can do this just stick with it how hard can that be? Pffft, so much harder than i know because i still havent figured it out

I know I am the exact same way. Went to university twice dropped out both times (did well, just stopeed caring and going), can't finish projects, make plans for anything...going out with friends,......trips home never keep them. Make plans to skype or call an old friend.....don't do it and refuse to return txt msg's. I find now I don't make plans I just go day by day because it's a horrible cycle if I don't. Make plans don't keep them get anxious that I don't, avoid the person, feel like a bad person and friend and then comes the self distruction!!
It can change though!! I promise. I've noticed a huge difference in my attitude and behavior since I've been in regular therapy and take my medication. But the biggest difference came from me understanding my disorder and being able to recognize some of the warning signs or BPD traits.