Why Life Is Not Worth Living.

Over the past couple months I have had a sort of epiphany. It all started when I began a new prescription. The side effects they cite include depression, etc.etc. I have had depression problems for many years and apparently I fell into the "side effected people" category because I have never felt the hopeless anxiety and depression I am experiencing now. But at the same time it has got me thinking in ways I have never thought before, and I have now come to the absolute truth. There is no god. No afterlife. Those are fairy tales that human kind has invented to keep away fear of the unknown but I have realized it's all completely RIDICULOUS. There is nothing supernatural in this world. I'm a sack of meat who through a certain set of lucky circumstances came into existence. Life is a pointless accident. And so with this new knowledge I am beginning to see everything I go through as unnecessary suffering. I have wavered between the title agnostic and atheist for some time choosing a different title on any given week. But in the back of my mind I, like so many others, secretly hoped that life had some sort of greater purpose or meaning. I now FIRMLY stand by the title "atheist." And all it's negative connotations. So with my new found knowledge I ask myself daily "What is even the point?" When I die I am going to be the same piece of flesh I am now, except my brain matter won't be buzzing with little pulses of electricity making it tick. What is the point of even pushing myself to try to make it in this abysmal world knowing the outcome will be exactly the same no matter if I die rich or poor, successful or not. My carcass will rot away exactly the same. Bill Gates will be a stinking corpse just the same as the pets we have buried in the back yard. Why continue to even put myself through more ****? At this point the only thing that keeps me alive is my family, and my wonderful boyfriend, I don't think I could put them through the emotional pain, even knowing I will have no notion of it at the time.
GlitterQueenXO GlitterQueenXO
18-21, F
1 Response May 17, 2012

so thats your final believe ha,well i have alot of question in my life but sometimes to lose hope is not good so i just dont want to discuss religion and thats why i usually in the middle for i have friends whose unique in everyway so i just accept the way they wanted to do.