So dead inside and out. Why do I feel as if this is punishment for all the things I haven't done? I feel like a smear of my former self. I dont feel human. I dont feel alive. I dont feel the hope. I care and I dont care all at once. I am disconnected to everything. Because nothing really matters. I feel so much older than what I am. I just feel tired and drained. I need all this to be over. I dont want the help anymore. I need something to tell me it will be ok, even though I know that won't be the truth. I just want to wake up somewhere to find I'm being held by someone, I'm happy. I go on and live to be who I truely am. This life I cannot provide that for myself. I want to go. My family needs me. I want to go. My family needs me. I want to go. My family needs me. I want to go.
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2 Responses Nov 29, 2012

Please don't do anything to yourself. You are more important that you realize and you DO matter in this world, and to other people. Your perspective will change over time. Life isn't always "peachy", but it doesn't always suck either. I promise you things do get better. Learn to be strong.

We are all stronger than we think we are. You will fight your way out of this, and eventually you'll see that things will be good again.