I Don't Know If I'm Worth Saving

My husband doesn't love me. My best friend said she loved me, but she doesn't. She and my husband cheated on me. They had a relationship around me, while telling me they both loved me.

If he leaves me for her, she will destroy him. It's who she is. If he leaves, I feel like my whole life is going with him

If I don't leave, I feel I will just hurt him more. if I'm dead, then he will have it easier.

I tried to make him happy. I tried to make her happy. I tried to find out who I really am. Unfortunately, I think I was right all along. I am someone who's sole job on earth is to make people happy, or at least keep them from goign off the deep end, until they find their true happiness. I don't think I have ever been the great love or joy in anyone's life. I'm 32, not especially attractive, barely employed, and with no skills to speak of. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't want to be used like this by the Fates anymore.

Surujen Surujen
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 25, 2009

angel, my love is with you x

I find myself in the same situation. My whole life have been spend looking out for others (even when they might not realise, appreciate it, but I have), ensuring they are happy, help them to find themselves, find life. <br />
<br />
But at the end of the day, who looks after me? I don't feel anyone else have, I don't feel anyone else care. <br />
<br />
You need to look after yourself now. She might destory him, he might be happy, he might not, but its not your responsibility. It is their choice and their consequence to take. You can't help them, no-one else can. <br />
<br />
Make the right decision for your sake, for your benefit, for once.