Lonely And Drowing In People

I am constantly surrounded by people. However, I feel all alone. My "friends" all talk AT me, but no one cares what I have to say, unless it pertains to them. I come to work and I can't even log into my computer, without 2 to 3 people hovering around my desk. Once logged in, that's when others come by. They all want to tell me what is going on in their lives and what they did over the weekend, etc. Many even start off with "how are you?" But that is followed by them talking about themselves before I have a chance to say anything. I have the classic "Debbie Downers," "The Narcissists," and I am sure the "Sociopaths." I the am a sounding board. and am being drained by these needy relationships. They are energy vampires! I have even tried telling some of my friends they do this to me and they will start having actual conversations with me for about a week, then always revert back to the selfishness that they know. Also, I am a very energetic, charismatic, happy person - on the outside, so people expect that from me all of the time. If I am having an "off" day, they often leave, saying I need time alone to find my happy. I don't need time alone. I need a real friend! At home, I have a 2 year old. She's perfect and she's what keeps me happy and sane. I am married, but my husband is in a point in his life where is he very wrapped up in his own emotions and generally doesn't listen to anything I say. I get the nod or "mmmhhhmmm," but it's never really listening or engaging me in anything on my mind. I am thinking he might be going through a mid life crisis...I have no idea. So that leaves me completely lonely, but drowning in people.
Windirules Windirules
36-40, F
2 Responses Apr 9, 2012

I've found myself in same type of relationships. I get called when there is a crisis or a need. But other than that, nobody wants anything more to do with me. I'm at a loss on how to build a real relationship.<br />
I recently started to make the time to read. And just setting side time for myself has given me a little sanity. Maybe you can make some down time.

Thank you for the response underrock. You're completely right. You are called when there is a crisis or a need. I have been doing a few things that help me keep my sanity. It's a little hard to get the "down time," with a 2 year old and working full time, but I managing. Thank you:)

Drowning, not Drowing - LOL - like I am an evil elf in Dungeons and Dragons...Drowing:)