I Am Considering A Life With Heart, With Soul , With Love

I have been trapped in a very empty marriage for a very long time. I approached the problem with the assumption that it would be fixable repairable.But, reality set in, and I realized that is not what i really want. I feel that there is a point in your life when you say that your worth more than just settling for what ever your spouse is willing to give.I also decided that if you want more out of life, then it is up to you to go get it. No one is obligated to give you anything. And so i decided to take a leap of faith.This is a huge decision for me.I have never ever had the full responsibility for myself.I simply went from the arms of my parents, to the arms of my spouse.

I also know that I have had a very sad and empty life. And If I don't do something just for me, being willing to take a risk for me, then what ever life is granted me i will spend it full of regret. My life going forward may not be easy.It may be problematic, but the life I am leaving wasn't exactly stellar.And so i am going forward with my decision. And because i consider this a leap of faith.I consider this an optimistic choice.I consider it a leap to a higher level of living.Not in the standard economic sense, but in the spiritual sense. Because this time, i am considering a life with heart, with soul, with love.
neuilly neuilly
61-65, F
5 Responses Oct 12, 2011

I have read several of your stories over the past year. You have always been very articulate with an air of refinement. When you talk about a higher level, but not in the economic sense, did you have to scale back, and if so was it worth it?
The reason I am being so bold I also would be making a similar move. Certainly not uncommon I would have to take a pretty good hit financially. I am a little older than you and it puts me in a little bit of a quandary. Ride it out, or as you put it; go for the brass ring holding heart, soul, and love.
Not asking you for an answer only what you have been able to take from the experience thus far.

to take the risk requires the desire to live differently, to be in a better place. if that desire is not there, than any risk you take is too large. I had waited, and wasted my life for a long while, and finally found the courage, and decided, I just needed to own my own life. ui needed to be in control of my dreams, and so i took that risk.....For me it was the right choice.....I can not make that decision for any one else. Remember, any decision you make, the impact of that choice is yours to bear..So....think..and think again, and then decide. You can alos make your choice in little steps, so that you can retreat if you get scared..so always leave a door open to go back..don't destroy all the bridges in your relationships

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. Appreciate your wisdom. May you find true joy and peace.

thank you..and you are correct, because many people here at EP have helped me significantly..they are responsable for helping me to be able to move ahead..

you made a huge leap when you were much younger. with the years and tears you have lived through..it will make this leap easier, i think. there is so much to be said for getting older and wiser. and remember...you have us xx

I think the reality is,no one has a perfect life..all lives have problems..the way to live a happier life is<br />
incorporate as many things you love. into your life..if you love flowers, then find a way to have flowers.if it is music..well find a way to have music in your life.<br />
If you need people..then somehow get involved..it can be a volunteer thing..or joining a group, or taking a class..but think about what you'd like to have, and find a way to make some changes..It only takes one friend to change your life..that one friend, if you hit it off, and start interacting..well everything is suddenly different..so . find one friend.

Greetings & Hi,<br />
<br />
You seemed have a very clear perspective on the status of your life...and the things that make you unhappy (have made you unhappy), as well as a way to change things. This is brave.<br />
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Interestingly, I can see myself saying (feeling) the same weigh you are feeling - 10 years from now. At present - my life is very unfulfilling; I am alone (and often lonesome...however I rarely feel lonely). I have very few friends - and never learned how to make friends - hence always being alone, a loner and lonesome. I am unemployed with no one to lean on financially or for encouragement. I have no dreams anymore (I once did - but nothing ever paned out - and I think I gave up). I have regrets (not many - in fact 1 specific regret - which I can do nothing about).<br />
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However, the thing that I remind myself often is that I have a wonderful family (by no means perfect - the don't even get me). And yet, they are loving people.<br />
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My point - is I must look at the good stuff - and balance that with any changes - or sorrows I feel about my life.<br />
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I need to make some changes - and yet - I don't know how/what? I pray.<br />
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I'm not sure this was direct to your issue, however, I felt a need to reply because "I get it" and I wish you every success and joy and peace on your seeking for a life with heart, with soul, with love - as you desire. Allways, peace

absolutely, you do..we can't fix all the problems that we face..but we can at least incorporate changes that make us feel a little better.

I know you said, you have very few friends. That is a shame, because you communicate very well. And so sharing on line may open a whole new avenue of friendship and sharing for you. Friendship really requires very few things. it requires a common interest and honesty, and a wiliingness to communicate..

You were willing to reach out, you spoke from the heart, and you were willing to share a common interest, so you have the ability for making friends. So don't hold yourself back. Go slowly, find your comfort level..but try to make your life a less lonely place to be.