I have been battling depression for years...I'd like to say about 7 years..I'm going to be 23 at the end of March. For so long I've just suffered with it. I only tried Prozac and Zoloft for a a brief time when I was in H.S... but not very long due to the negative side  effects.

I've been on Lexapro for a month...if anything it has worsened my depression and anxiety....I have more frequent suicidal thoughts,no motivation....just nothing positive has surfaced from taking this med. I've always been anti, anti-depression meds....now I know why!

My best friend committed suicide after being prescribed 4 diff. anti-depression meds...one of them being Paxil.  I go back to my Doctor this week...She says, that my 10mg dose might be to low of a dose....so she wants to up the dose. Oh yea!!! I can't wait to see what effect that has. I want it to work...but I'm sorry, if I haven't  felt even a slight positive change with the 10mg dose...I highly doubt a higher dosage of the same med will be much of a resolution. I have had horrible migraines on this med and bad crying fits, I'll stay in the bed for days. I just bought a new motorcycle and I've been to depressed to ride it. The same thing happened with Prozac when I was younger...that's when I vowed to never take another SSRI.

The doctor said, if 20mg Lexapro doesn't do anything.... maybe I shouldn't take any SSRI's....that they have other depression meds that aren't SSRI's, like CYMBALTA, which is a SSNRI (selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors.)  ....whats the difference? I have no idea. I guess the side effects aren't as bad...but that's what they were saying years ago about Prozac...and all the rest of those SSRI's. I say, Once you get on these meds you are a LIFER! (on them for life) Trying one after the other in the hopes one will work...while you go through hell.  I have read many success stories.....wishing they would help me, and thousands like me......but they only worsen some peoples Depression/anxiety:(

I wish I would have never started the Lexapro. Next week I'll be on 20mg....and if it keeps having the same effect...I don't think I'll make it through...it's having a complete opposite effect on me than what it is supposed to do. I'm obviously at the end of my rope...with life, or I would have never went to anti-depression meds ......i was so against them...and still am. 

I know for some they have helped...but not many.....and the ones they didn't help are no longer here or they are suffering everyday. Anti-depressants are my last resort....really no where else to go....I just can't live like this anymore! I have for so long...and I'm just done. My birthday is March 31st...the greatest present I can think of is a, depression/anxiety free life!  If that is not possible than Death would be the greatest birthday wish. I just don't want to deal with it anymore and I shouldn't have to. Good Luck to everyone taking anti-depression meds, I truly hope they help you get your life back!

QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 23, 2009

Well I am currently on 20mg of lexapro...somedays I think it is working and somedays are still hell..... I guess thats just what I have to deal with...and if I miss even one dose....wow...The depression comes hurling back causing all kinds of wreckage. But I haven't had anymore suicidal thouights in a couple weeks so I guess that is good for me....because I used to think about death all day everyday. I am almost out of my prescription..and I hate that I have to see my doctor everytime I am out of my free samples. I don't know what I'll do when they stop giving them to me.....but I apreciate and enjoyed reading your comments.... I haven't seen a specialist yet.... I don't know about that one ....or even if I can. this whole mental healthcare business is a SHAM!!!! and I still hate that I'm on anti-depressants....I really don't know if they are doing me any good....I mean how can you tell really I am still feeling about the same overall. It just sucks...because I'm tired of fight this...I'm tired of all the things in life I've missed because of this and I'm tired of losing people in my life because of this!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fight is endless Good luck to everyone fighting the battle...I hope someday whether it's with the help of meds or not you WIN!!!

I'm not sure how long I've been depressed. I know it's been at least 4 years because that's when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 28. I was taking 30 mg of Lexapro while I decided to go back to college full time in a dental assisting program. My husband and I were separated at the time. I did really well in school and started having some confidence in myself. It was nice knowing I was able to do something like be a good student. I even tutored some of the students that were having a hard time in class for pay which was really a self esteem booster. I THINK IT HELPED BEING AWAY FROM MY MESSED UP HUSBAND TOO. I was also in therapy with a counselor every other week and seeing a psychologist once a month which helped. I'm pregnant now and haven't been able to take anything the last 7 months. I have started going back to school online through Ashford University to get a BA of science and arts with a major in teaching. This way I feel like I'm moving toward getting my life back. I'm a co-dependent so I'm going to focus my issues with helping others toward a good cause and become a special education teacher since I have patience and want to help the "least of thies". It's commendable to help children with special needs, not men with alcohol problems. Drunk husbands suck elephant balls.<br />
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My advice to you is to find counselor and psychologist (they are trained to diagnose, and know whats best to prescribe. You need a specialist in the field of mental health) that you are comfortable with. Tell the doctor "You wouldn't like to find out I killed myself, would you. Refer me to someone or I'll have to find another doctor who will." I know how long things seem to take, sometimes it almost seems like you have to light a fire up there a** to your your point across. I've got gut's since being off my anti-depressants and I think I'm liking it okay. But, I know I'm able to focus better with them for school so after breastfeeding for three months I'll<br />
be going back on them. They keep me from stressing and help me focus on what needs to be done. <br />
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So, find a counselor. Start doing something progressive because you can make a difference in the world (like online college courses). And stand up to the man in your life by being assertive, if he puts you down like mine did. I did this and have felt better. Good luck.

I have also been depressed for seven years. I have also taken various random drugs as my doctors threw different prescriptions at me to see if one would work. Sometimes one would work for a while, and then just when I would get excited because I was feeling 'better' it would stop again. I know it seems pointless to keep trying different meds when nothing seems to have worked for you so far and you're coping with side effects, but I think you should. If all you've taken are SSRI's then tell your doctor you want something else goddammit. I'm on wellbutrin and it worked OK for a year or so. Are you seeing specialists? Because if you're not, then demand to be referred to one. It's possible you're not just 'depressed', there may be other issues like bipolar etc. that are affecting you and making the medication less effective. The truth is that people like you and I are in the fight for our lives. We are fighting not merely to dig ourselves out of depression but also to find the motivation to then form our lives into something we can be proud of and enjoy. I try to remind myself to try ANYTHING doctors suggest on the off chance that it will work - no matter how little motivation I am feeling. When I believe that nothing can help and there is no other option is when I will have to check out early. I read your post about friendships as well and can relate to that, too. You say you can begin friendships but they then go off the rails. Well, you're halfway there! It seems like lots of people in that group said they can't even begin talking to new people. Just think of how your life could be.... if you weren't depressed, and had energy, and could reclaim your personality and your behaviour. Because right now you can't blame yourself for how you're acting - it's not you, it's the depression. And the depression has to be treated, and you've got to keep trying to do that.