Just Right

I've always been tall: standing in the back row of photos, glaring at the seat in front of me on planes, sighing sadly at those beautiful platforms I'll never buy. 

I'm a smidgen under 5' 10", thought I generally feel at least 6 feet tall. Because 5' 10" is tall, but it's not that tall, so why am I always finding myself towering over every person in a line? 

In high school I absolutely hated my height. I never wore heels and I slouched whenever I stood in a group. 

My mother (5'10" and a half) promised me it would get better. When I'd complain that guys only like short girls, she'd snort and tell me in the annoying adults-know-everything voice that there would be a day when I'd love my height and would WANT to stand out. Of course, she wears heels all the time and has a way of walking into every room as if she's 100 feet tall, with an expression that tells the world she knows they're staring at her and she wouldn't expect anything less.  

At times, I still feel incredibly unfeminine, and I wonder if when I'm standing with my friends people are walking past wondering what the hell they're doing with a small ogre at their side. 

And then there are other times, when the smoke alarm is going off at 3am and I don't need a chair to reach it, or when I try on a floor length dress and it ends at exactly right level, as if it was made for me. 

Yesterday I was making plans with my friends for Friday night, and (because I talk like a 90s chick flick stereotype) I asked them what they were wearing. And every last one of them decided on flats or slightly heeled boots.  But when I was getting ready, I realised for the first time that I didn't  care. I had brand new Tony Bianco heels that would look perfect with my outfit, and I wasn't going to move them to the back of my closet just so I could blend in a little better, 

And It was a very good night. 

And maybe my mother was right. :)

kikis2 kikis2
22-25, F
May 12, 2012