Near 40 And In Pain-> What 60 Gonna Be Like ? More Pain?

I hate the idea of aging in physical pain with my back problems the idea of being in pain for the rest of my life is upsetting

and the limitations could get worse, i'll feel age moving up quicker which I do not want !

I dont want to get too aged before my time that is for sure.

I avoid wrinkles by looking after my skin and I avoid vericous veins by not standing too long

I try to keep my mind busy to keep from going senile and I enjoy so many things in life

but for not having love and a relationship with a wonderful man.

I wish i had someone young, cute and heart giving to love me truely

i do eye exercises and occasional exercise - i used to do more years ago which was enjoyable.

I avoid the sun due to my sensative skin with cancers...i dont want skin cancer

The main reason I dont want to age quickly or ever is because I havent been able to have the life

of a 20 year old as others have... i never got parties, or friends or nightclubs

I never got romance or treated like a pretty teen. i never got dates with boys i liked. they didnt treat me right

i was sexually assaulted and raped... and no one i dont care about them now!

i just want to feel youthful to marry and have a romance and babies.

in the past 5 years I just feel like have aged 100 or more  years with all this muscle and joint pain

and cold I have had...its worse with the weather also

the cold and rain has made it bad. I am not moving about as much and need to loose weight.

every morning I wake in pain. its hell. I should not be feeling like this. i will have an mir soon.

i dont want to die yet but i hate this pain. the cold early morning hours are hell. my own thoughts are hell

and sick of this insomnia and anxiety over aging without happiness i wanted to have.

i dont fight god - he just didnt want me to be happy or healthy or wealthy ...

what did i do to deserve all this pain. 
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
Mar 26, 2011