All Over Soon.

i feel like it's all going to be over then and no one will want me anymore. even as that sentence rages against the wiser and stronger insides of me, it still feels like a terrible truthity.

Cinderelly Cinderelly
36-40, F
6 Responses Aug 30, 2008

I'm 26, going on 27. For the past few years, I have been terrified of getting older. Not adult responsibilities (heck, I welcome those), but changing appearance, diminishing health, and, worst of all, not being able to be who I used to be. The biggest thing that scares me about aging is that we can't go back to who we were. I'd like to see myself at 70 if it meant I would be getting younger after that point. It's kind of like eating. If you're hungry, you eat, and you're not hungry anymore. But aging is linear. You keep getting hungrier and hungrier until you eventually starve. That scares me! Every year that passes by tells me my life is one year shorter, and life is far too short as it is!<br />
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What scares me the most about aging isn't the health changes. I'm optimistic most of that will be fixed in the next few decades. It's actually the social situation that bothers me the most. Changing appearance means that I'm, arguably, looking worse. It also means I can't fit in with the general, younger crowd. I'm too different! I would not mind aging nearly as much if I knew I wouldn't change in appearance. Don't get my wrong... I'm not being vain. I'm not asking to be so "man-pretty" that I turn heads all the time. I just want to look like a young person like I did for the past bunch of years and do now, always. I want to look young so I can fit in with other young looking people. I want age to be irrelevant.<br />
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I think that if an older and younger person date, the reason some people see it as strange is because of the physical age difference. Some say life experience and mental maturity, but people's brains don't change much after 25. I think most of the stigma is the way people look, like the younger person "can't get someone their own age" and the older person is "trying to get something they shouldn't have". It's too bad, too, especially when two people love each other. I really think if people stopped aging at a certain point, like 30, then chronological age wouldn't be a factor in dating.<br />
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People have always been searching for a way to control the aging process. I always took comfort in the idea, as a kid, that we might some day find a way, and that will save me. If not, at least we might be able to regrow organs, or create new bodies for us to transfer into, or something. However, modern science seems to have a bit of an edge on this. However, the worst case scenario would be that I have a short life, but hopefully I will have found a perfect woman, and with her created a perfect life and raised a perfect family.<br />
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I was ebullient when I heard that Harvard reversed the aging process in mice. Regardless, there are a lot of factors in the study I can get into that state that this arguably worked under certain conditions, but the fact remains that it happened. Recent research also shows why we age, and many companies are working to find telomere inhibitors to control the ways cells age. I am confident that we can find a fix for this in the near future, but these research scientists don't get government funding. They're research isn't published too widely.<br />
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One thing I do to take comfort in aging is try to push for a cure to aging. What I'm doing is trying to spread the word about what they do, help wherever I can, donate my time and services to these research institutions, and hopefully this will be something that's available for us before it's too late. However, this would fix the problem of aging completely.<br />
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There are some people who say that they're comfortable with aging and death, and say that it's natural. Well, sure, but shows aren't natural and we use them. Neither are medicines, or cures to diseases, and prosthetics, but life is better because we have them. I think those who are comfortable say they are because they've accepted it as an 'inevitability'. But I think that if you do that, you deny yourself the interest in fixing a problem that exists.<br />
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There's so much that I love about life, and I want to experience it for as long as I can, in a body that's young.

Wow I'm feeling exactly like that now. I have never been into older men. I have always felt young at heart! Still do unfortunately. Before I had some youthful looks still and still was found attractive. In the last two years of aged about 8. I never considered myself vain but i have to admit looking in the mirror makes me want to cry. Not to mention the people who grew up with me make comments on how bad i look already. Although i know they are being mean. I know they are telling the truth. I know Im going to be alone because I would never force myself to like someone just because i was lonely. Im sure someone is going to think Im crazy. I know I feel crazy. The feelings still don't disappear.

I just wanted to say that I agree with "Explosive" on choosing older men. <br />
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Heck, I'm 20 and would rather date a man twice my know, an investment in my aging future. >.><br />
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Date someone around 15-20 years older and I think it will really help. ^.^

I did. Mine is 14 years older. I keep saying, 'KEEP AGING..KEEP GOING..It will only make me look better, hahaha. I'll be 36 next week and I'm having panic over it. I feel every bit of a mix of 16 (goofy and fun) and 22 TOPS. At least I can say, I'll always be the younger woman:)
Still very scared about wrinkles, loss of looks, etc. I still get hit on but it's NOT the same and my skin..BLAH compared to what it once was. I barely recognize myself.

Having been young and very pretty one time I can only say that I do miss the past. But now at age 61, married. Yeah married but more alone now than ever in my life. Four beautiful dogs and several cats do give me purpose and listen. <br />
Of course I am afraid of the eventuality but having discovered Freddie Mercury I now have a silk & cashmere robe to blanket myself in serenity. Biographies and the music he left behind give me tons of strength to carry on. <br />
Lovely that I do now have 8 Freddie biographies that every time I revisit they always seem brand new.

I agree with Tate3, disease...definitely a fear. I fear something being wrong with me now that will kill me later! Leaving my loved ones, kids...But ageing, not sure. Depends what age bracket you are trying to attract. 22 year olds will not look at a woman over 25 ( usually) but then at 40...why not gravitate towards the older guys? They will definitely look at you! I am digging the greying at the temples look at the moment. George Clooney...for example. there is also a lot out there to slow the process of ageing without going over the top. 40 is the new 30 i say!

Oh I definitely fear aging!!<br />
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I fear being too unattractive. And it does seem like nobody cares about an unattractive person, or a person over 25. I feel very bad about that...<br />
it's like you might as well not exist if you aren't good looking or young looking.