Ugh! I Don't Want to Get Old!

OK, I'm not "old", but I've definitely seen the first signs of change, physically, in my life. For instance, I had a car wreck a couple of years ago, and it caused tissue damage in my knee. Now my knee hurts whenever it is getting ready to rain. That statement wreaks of my Grandmother. Also, my hands are starting to look a little more "vainy". Not too bad, but I can tell a bit of difference. I am blond, so I haven't seen any gray hairs yet, but I have noticed a change in my feet. They are suddenly really dry like my mother's used to be. 

 I am so depressed about all of this! I am completely obsessed with being young and beautiful. I know it is so vain, and I know everyone grows old eventually. I am so upset.

How do you all cope? (Not that there's anything I can do about it, but I just feel like I am more worried about getting old than most people)

Thanks, Paisley

paisleyprincess27 paisleyprincess27
26-30, F
12 Responses Sep 10, 2008

Like others, I am not afraid of death. I a afraid of being unable to do anything. I don't even care so much about the looks of old age. I am scared that one day i will be an old man sitting on a chair all day doing nothing at all waiting to be fed and change my underwares. With nothing to look forward to other than death's salvation. That is what I find unacceptable, losing your dignity as a person. Death is a natural process but old age disability... I'd rather die a million times! I've even instructed my friends that if i get to grow too old to be self dependent to hire someone to just finish me off when the time comes!

I'm 26, going on 27. For the past few years, I have been terrified of getting older. Not adult responsibilities (heck, I welcome those), but changing appearance, diminishing health, and, worst of all, not being able to be who I used to be. The biggest thing that scares me about aging is that we can't go back to who we were. I'd like to see myself at 70 if it meant I would be getting younger after that point. It's kind of like eating. If you're hungry, you eat, and you're not hungry anymore. But aging is linear. You keep getting hungrier and hungrier until you eventually starve. That scares me! Every year that passes by tells me my life is one year shorter, and life is far too short as it is!<br />
<br />
What scares me the most about aging isn't the health changes. I'm optimistic most of that will be fixed in the next few decades. It's actually the social situation that bothers me the most. Changing appearance means that I'm, arguably, looking worse. It also means I can't fit in with the general, younger crowd. I'm too different! I would not mind aging nearly as much if I knew I wouldn't change in appearance.<br />
<br />
I think this might be your situation too. First, there's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice. It's not "vain". :) But I think a big part of what you're experiencing has to do with fitting in too. I'm not sure, though. My goal isn't to be "handsomer". I just want to look like a young person like I did for the past bunch of years and do now, always. I want to look young so I can fit in with other young looking people. I want age to be irrelevant.<br />
<br />
I think that if an older and younger person date, the reason some people see it as strange is because of the physical age difference. Some say life experience and mental maturity, but people's brains don't change much after 25. I think most of the stigma is the way people look, like the younger person "can't get someone their own age" and the older person is "trying to get something they shouldn't have". It's too bad, too, especially when two people love each other. I really think if people stopped aging at a certain point, like 30, then chronological age wouldn't be a factor in dating.<br />
<br />
Frankly, I'm having some difficulty coping with this. But I'm not one to sit idly by when something bothers me. <br />
<br />
People have always been searching for a way to control the aging process. I always took comfort in the idea, as a kid, that we might some day find a way, and that will save me. If not, at least we might be able to regrow organs, or create new bodies for us to transfer into, or something. However, modern science seems to have a bit of an edge on this. I was ebullient when I heard that Harvard reversed the aging process in mice. Regardless, there are a lot of factors in the study I can get into that state that this arguably worked under certain conditions, but the fact remains that it happened. Recent research also shows why we age, and many companies are working to find telomere inhibitors to control the ways cells age. (Tip: Googling "telomere" might make you feel better.) I am confident that we can find a fix for this in the near future, but these research scientists don't get government funding. Their research isn't published too widely.<br />
<br />
One thing I do to take comfort in aging is try to push for a cure to aging. What I'm doing is trying to spread the word about what the scientists do, help wherever I can, donate my time and services to these research institutions, and hopefully this will be something that's available for us before it's too late. I think that if everyone does just a little bit to help and show their support, we will have an answer to the aging problem in no time.<br />
<br />
There are some people who say that they're comfortable with aging and death, and say that it's natural. I admire their clarity, but I don't follow it. Shoes aren't natural and we use them. Neither are medicines, or cures to diseases, and prosthetics, but life is better because we have them. I think those who are comfortable say they are because they've accepted it as an 'inevitability'. But it's not inevitable as long as we push this science. :) Hey, I'm a man of science, and I have faith that we can take care of this problem, especially since it plagues everyone. We can all relate to it personally.<br />
<br />
There's so much that I love about life, and I want to experience it for as long as I can, in a body that's young.<br />
<br />
I hope my words have brought some comfort. You are not alone. :)

My dear young friend<br />
Please do not fear<br />
I swear it is alright!<br />
Am almost sixty and feel great.<br />
Do lots of yoga,eat healthy and take care of my grand-daughter!<br />
My skin is good and keep my hair streaked blonde.<br />
Some people are old at twenty while others remain vital for many years<br />
My Mum's friend is so cte!She is ninety.She wears high heels,puts on make -up and helps "The Old People" on the block!<br />
I asked her why she didn,t have a Toy Boy?<br />
And she replied They Wouldn,t be able to keep up with Me<br />
So enjoy each and every day and remember Good Health is our most precious blessing.

Yea! How do you accept the unacceptable. In life I have found that all my problems, ultimately stem out of myself! If a situation or person or whatever is owning me at the time it is because I find it unacceptable. Therefore acceptance is the key to all my problem's. But where and how are we to find that acceptance? You have to learn how to truly embrace your aging! Put your arms around it and give it a hug. Accept it as part of the journey in life and let go of what once was. The bigger picture is life and living and we all are on this journey called life. Let go! embrace what is to come and be grateful for the opportunity to experience the journey. Your holding on to the past and that unwillingness to let go is hurting you. Good Luck!

I am so surprised and relieved to find out that there are ppl out there like me. Scared of aging. It all started at the beginning of the year. I turned 25 on 29 December 2009 and since then i have been seeing changes in my body and face. Like it all just happened over night. I think about it constantly... And my boyfriend has noticed a change in my attitude. Its just doom and gloom all the time. I wish i could change it, and i do try, but before i know it this evil demon of worry takes over. I spend so much time looking at myself in the mirror and remembering and pining for what i used to look like.. how can i stop this?

Also, if you need a coping mechanism, you can tell people that you are ten years older than you really are. that seems to get women some really good compliments.

As a youthful male you might not take this to heart but i hope you do. i have an aunt that is a few years over fifty, whereas my mother is barely over forty. in comparison my aunt may look a few years older but is in better shape and has a much better outlook on life. she has always been a possitive influence on me and my family. what i am trying to say is that age is purely how you view it and other people pick up on that. when i see an older woman that has gone through plastic surgeries and tried to stay young i feel sorry for them because you know their age bothers them. yet when i see someone that has chosen to accept their age for what it is i tend to have more respect and adoration for them. my advice to stay young... keep youth in your heart and dont become a crochety old bat. You, and the people around you, will take notice and everyone will be happier.

O my I love this "How do you all cope!?" Honey we really don't cope, we just live. One morning I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror, I did a double take as my GrandMother was staring back at me! That was a real shocker, let me tell you. That was when I started to really start looking myself over and counting all the things that were beginning to sag. Scary morning that was. It just creeped up on me, like in the middle of the night, or something. That is when I decided well I would much rather be getting older, than be dead already. So I stopped with the hair dye. And allow all my greys to shine in all their glory. I well earned them, and I am proud to show them off, now. Funny how that vain thing, just slipped away. I do not care one hoot today what other people think of me. OH what a relief that is! I don't always have to match while I am at home anymore. Use to drive me mad if everything didn't match. And I have even caught myself going out into public lately without makeup and didn't give it one thought. Can you believe THAT!?<br />
It is kind of fun getting as you call it OLD. And I am using it to my best. Yep, I can see all the young women who are so worried about exactly how they look at all times and just snicker now, and under my breath say, OH one day girlfirend, One day.....

It would be good to have a new thread with some positive stories about ageing - there must be many. Its unhealthy to believe the media crap that life is over after the first wrinkle. Surely love is more important? Personally, my life just gets better, and apart from a brief spell in my late teens when i felt good-looking for the first time, I feel much better about my looks now (I'm 40) than I have at any other pooint in my life. Crucially, the most important point is that I also feel LOVED. This is better than looking young - just build up a network of people you love and who love you back and you should be fine. This means friends as well as lovers. If you want to attract people who just go for (external) looks only, then you can expect to not feel very beautiful: inside or out.

here's my thoughts on aging---I am WAY better at 50 than I ever was at 20, 30 or even 40--you take care of yourself-and you will age gracefully--you will realize--wow, I'm not bad!! (I was 45 when that hit me!) Must sahe--I completely agree with Phaellus--when I send birthday cards to my friends--it's always with--we aren't getting older--we're getting better!

I love getting older. Each year is better and life just keeps improving. There is nothing to fear.

It scares me too, but hey it's part of life : / You can't out run it so you might as well except it!