Perhaps I Am
i was in a serious relationship for 5 years that i wasn't even sure i wanted to be in...so i ended it. Now a year and a half later, he says he loves me and still wants to be with me. i can't do it tho b/c i don't want to feel trapped again. i want to feel like myself. i'm afraid if i were to go back, the same things would just happen all over again. i like him, and may possibly still love him (we DO have a daughter together also) but i don't think i want to be committed to him.
i currently have a friend with benefits that i just can't give up either. My feelings for him is one of the reasons i broke up with my ex in the first place...they haven't gone away...gotten stronger if anything....but he's married. Maybe i gravitate towards taken men b/c we both get what we want w/o having to commit to each other. i know if he's already taken, he's not going to want a relationship with me, so no one gets hurt. Perhaps i just like my freedom....after 5 years of being in a relationship i probably wasn't ready for, this freedom thing is pretty nice lol i can do whatever i feel like w/o having to worry about anyone but myself (well, and my daughter lol)
Maybe i'm afraid if i commit to one person, then "the one" will come along and i'll miss him. Maybe i don't want to commit b/c i think there could be someone else better out there for me? will i ever stop thinking this way?