What the Hell Is Wrong With Me?

I'm scared of love, commitment, people near to me... everything. I can't sleep next to my girlfriend without having a panic attack (yeah, I really got one while I was lying next to her, it was horrible, I felt SO bad).

Now I met a man whom I'm really smitten on and who likes me back. I thought I'd lost him, he was gone for a month and I thought I couldn't live without him. Now he's come back and right away I start to be scared again and wish he'd never come back.

This goddamned ambivalence is going to kill me one day! I don't know what to tell all these people that I want to be close to but can't! I hate myself for that!

GothGrrrl GothGrrrl
18-21, F
2 Responses May 8, 2007

This is normal. You just have to deal with it. Everything is in your head and it maynot even have anything to do with him. You are just being too intense and may even have some childhood issues. Just take one day at a time and try to stop worrying about tomorrow because today is passing you by. But its always a great idea to share this with people you might consider close to you. Meeting someone your age online may also help. Anywas good luck...

nothings wrong with you, you just havmt found the write person to make you realize how amazing and beautiful love is, trusting people is scary, but its scarrier to put your heart in someones hand and ask them to please not break it, you will find the person you can trust with your heart your life your everything k sweetie, till then just live life and dont dwell on it