Fantasy Man

I tend to compare my partner to a fantasy man inside my head.  Of course, a man as perfect as that doesn't exist - and if he did, he wouldn't be interested in me.  But still, the dissatisfaction this causes me stops me from feeling total commitment for my nice, ordinary partner.  Because if Mr Fantasy turned up (which he won't) I'd prefer him.

CrystalCat CrystalCat
41-45, F
3 Responses Jul 4, 2007

My dear friend:<br />
I do realize that this site is designed to use as a place to vent as well as to give and receive thoughts and ideas.Please realize I understand am on your side and am not being critical but you must find a way to be yourself and not safe and secure.I do feel if you are dissatisfied and can only find happiness through fantasy a change must be made.We have talked about his before and it grieves me that the situation continues.Use the theory you advanced with me about animals.It strikes me that would be exactly the way to go.

I'm going to do as the Tardy Dodo suggests with the writing thing.

Have you ever written out the exact qualities of your fantasy man? If you haven't you should do this - seeing ridiculous things on paper often means they lose some of their power over us. The other thing is - I don't think you're afraid of just plain ol' commitment. There is something deeper that you are truly afraid of here, but I can not tell you what it is, not on the basis of this story alone. You know already in any case, deep inside.