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Anguish

"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches.
Whatever you wish for, you keep
And the dreams that you wish
Will come true".

                          - Cinderella, Disney


A persistent relentless dream
T'is so far away it seem
One I hold on to, one I keep
Making me laugh, making me weep
It engulfs my mind, my heart, my soul
Without it, my being can not be whole.

And so I chase this very dream
Searching for those eyes that scream
Is it madness? Is it foolishness?
It brings out the worst and the best
But one thing is clear and my heart knows this
Without it, there will never be bliss.

Time is a factor as I wait for the chance
Has nothing to do with lust nor of romance
But a feeling as clear as the day
The touch alone takes my troubles away
A dream I keep as my time grows old
Forever longing, forever I hold.

And so I wait as perchance it is here
Battling with time I dread and fear
Afraid to be wrinkled and grey
Never catching the dream until I lay
Alone and wondering why I was given a wish
A faerie whose heart bleeds in anguish.


 

- Westlife
Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 56 Responses Jul 20, 2010

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LMAO! I do love cloaks... and if he brings a dagger... well... *raises wand*... I shall be ready... but he may have other intentions for the dagger, too... *winks*...

Hmm... my locksmith... I like that, Lady... very veiled and concealed... like a cloak and dagger mystery... hmm...<br />
<br />
Or is it a mystery???<br />
*sits pondering*...

One key to fit the two huh?... *faerie's heart begins to beat fast... thump thump*... it's either I'm excited or scared... can't really tell right now... *wipes cold sweat from brow*...

Ill gladly unlock them, maybe our locks are the same and it only needs one key for the two.

Oh Dean... the bounce will come back... it comes and goes lately... I know it wants to stay around... but these chains... *whack whack whack*... they can't be unmade with my whacks... grrr...<br />
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*walks up to Dean*... may I borrow your key?...

I love the free willed fairie, bouncing about the world enjoying what life has to offer. That makes me smile immensely. But such are faeries, bringers of joy. I do agree with 8FD, dont let the chains hold you down, the locks are small and we hold the key.

Dean... why pray tell do you love my bounce hmm??? Nothing to do with the boobies I hope... *whack*<br />
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Oh Mick... but you love my whacks... and don't worry about the club I used at Disney. I had to leave it there. I did ask the lady if that could be my prize... she laughed... but I was serious... silly Disney folks...<br />
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8FD... your words always carry wisdom... thank you, dear one... but it isn't always easy to open one's heart and reveal oneself... the fun Sylph takes away the fear... it just gnaws and bites sometimes...

fear is only a small lock that chain us to illusions - there are many keys to open those chains and free yourself from fear of life and growing old - happiness, love, fun, deep joy, appreciation, gratitude these are all keys - the message of the notebook was this - that despite great adversity and fears love always reigns victorious...open your heart to love and aging becomes an illusion...you of all people Sylph have nothing to fear - you are the friendliest EP'er I know - at least one of many I know...

I'll refrain from making any comments otherwise I shall get a whack too. Thank goodness it's not the wand the faerie used in Disneyworld!!

*Takes the faerie by the hand*<br />
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Then Ill just keep you from rushing, slow you down just enough to enjoy thing a bit more but not so much you dont bounce. I love the bounce.

You are all telling a faerie not to rush... right... good luck with that... <br />
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Dean... If it's a tight group hug... then what do you think happens with the boobies???<br />
<br />
*whack*...

*looks at the Faerie* Seee!<br />
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Dont rush, patience. Is a group hug like a cousin to a boobie squish?<br />
<br />
*smiles*

I just want to echo softkittis sentiment. I long for that some one too. Ive languished years in a prison iof a maarriage I will most likely seek to leave soon. I may be alone then but I already am now. If so at least Ill be happy and Ill surround myself with friends who lift me up. <br />
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If I only get one day, one moment in time with that someone Ill be content. Theyre out there and well find each other when were supposed to, we cant rush it. Serendipity has its own pace, its own order of when and where things should happen.

Now, onto the faerie. You keep on talking about chasing the dream as if your Alice in wonderland and its the White Rabbit. But its not that way at all, this isnt something like becoming a musician or seeing the Pyramids, actual tangible goals. This is about a yearning, a desire emanating from your soul touching your deepest emotions. Its an ethereal thing., elusive and haunting.<br />
<br />
You cant chase that, just like you cant chase the fog. As soon as you draw close its disappeared and youre no more close to it than before. This dream will happen on you when you least expect it, just as all good dreams do., thhe last one of the night that comes to you when youre trying to wake. Don’t give up on it, but stop trying to make it happen.<br />
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Enjoy your life, do what you want to, be yourself, chase the tangible dreams you have before you and time will be less of a demon. Its something none of us can stop, its en inevitability that we grow old. As I always say to people, its not great to grow old but it beats the alternative. But you fear that time will rob you of your dream, it wont. In fact, its possible that time brings you closer to your dream than you were before but you havent seen it yet.<br />
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Stay on my horse Faerie and enjoy the view of the world, Ill walk beside you and keep away the ghost and MILs.

I was thinking more of my wife when I mentioned Shrek. Okay, that wasnt nice.......itrs just like that some days. The faeries is FAR from an ogre. *cringes waiting for the whack*<br />
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Im in thta boat Takem. I gave up so much pf myself for so long that I didnt know who I was. Now that IM reclaiming my identity, the realization of how much we chafe each other is obvvious. I know I have to move on but dont want to hurt my wife.

alrighty......<br />
<br />
Taken, Ive always had so much respect and admiration for you and what you have in your marriage. On more than one occasion Ive told you how enviousI am of that....in a good way. Hes a lucky man for the wonderful lady he has.....its a rare gem of a wife that will endure Monty Python for her mate.<br />
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Glow, I think the reflecting(tions) we do (or see) may show us what was already there, things that we just diodnt want to admit or own up to. Often in relationships its a realization of the denial we did to force the happiness with another person, subjugating who we are/were for the illusion that we would be happy with them. <br />
<br />
When you start to peel the la<x>yers back on the other person, that concept, the sacrafices we made years ago, often becomes glaringly obvious. Its when you see youve grown apart but may have never been the relationship you thought it was to begin with. So youll never really have the deep connection you crave in that person. Thats when the hard part begins. You have to do some soul searching, enter the labyrinth of the faeries story here.<br />
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Im snickering as i think about the la<x>yers. All I can think of is Shrek and how ogres are like onions......

I'm wondering where the skinny dipping, butt-naked frolicking went... *scratches head*...<br />
<br />
Dear Taken and Glowy... *hugs to you both*...<br />
<br />
A bad place because the reflections made me realize that I am stuck in a place I am not certain where to head to next... like a maze, a labyrinth... there are so many consequences for each path and they are not easy to deal with, very complicated. I know, we all go through this... we each have those dreaded paths that we have been forced to take, or just took because we did not know any better... but knowing and realizing do not really change the fact of the situation... we just know... and so we brood for a while... to make sense of things... let's call it the first assessment... I just recently come to terms with these reflections... and the blow is still staggering...<br />
<br />
And sad yes, because it is hard, and because I am afraid I can never find the dream. Peel the la<x>yers, you say... it is what I have been doing for the last so-so years. I just thought it was my role to do so, my job to keep things in tact. Only recently did I realize (again) that it is not a role. It should never be. What is there to peel if what is left is the rawness? There is nothing left to complete each other. The growing and changing... some just cease to compliment each other any more. The reason for marriage... I thought it was good to change oneself for someone to a person they all want me to be... losing oneself in the process... forgetting who I was... but only to be tormented later on, your inner being screaming to be let out... <br />
<br />
"Everyone has that person"... it is why I have the dream. And I hold onto it eagerly. You ask if I have the courage to find him... you are talking to a faerie here... I seek adventure... I chase dreams... and have fallen quite hard of late... I took my spirit and ***** and headed out... but the dream was not there...

Sylph - Why do say you're in a bad place with the reflections? Reflections just show us what was already there. Now all that remains is deciding what to do with this knowledge. Sad because it's hard? Well, life can be hard. But I have to agree with Taken here. Everyone has that person. Do you have the courage to find him/her? Or to peel the la<x>yers from the one you have now and find him/her? I guess that's the real question.

Thank you, SI... I hope your reflection turns out better than mine... *hugs*...

I have these same thoughts. Your thoughts are inspirational and cause me to stop and reflect.

*Sylph gives high-five to Smuggy for being a natural nudist*... just jump right in with the ladies, Smuggy... we love pugs... *kisses nose*...<br />
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Bluebie... *hands drink to Bluebie*... that butt-avatar would have been perfect here, I'd say... *Sylph dips hands on blue paint and start smacking Bluebie's, Glowy's, and Kitti's butts*... ooohhh... maybe smack some blue paint on Smuggy's butt, too... come here, Smuggy....<br />
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Glowy... LOL! we did fall asleep with all the drinks on your story... *runs to grab drinks*... allllrrrrright, ladies... Margaritas... Daquiris... Tequila... Smirnoff... whoohoo!!! Oh yeah, mustn't forget Dean's Yeungling... *grabs beer*... oh darn... Scooby's shrimps... *grabs shrimps*... <br />
<br />
Whew! This is tiring...

Syplhy - I think we left all the drinks there. Fell asleep before we drank them, but I have ice - we can go back again!!<br />
<br />
Smuggles - I hate to tell you - but you're mostly a nudist. It's ok. I don't think anyone is staring..

Well I was all ready for skinny dipping too, with my butt avatar. Sigh... Gimmie a drink, will you Sylph? I know it's early but it is 5 o'clock somewhere. lol

how do you skinny dip? rooooooooooooo? fur in the way again damn! makes face! hehehehehe

As long as it works, Glowy... he can quote Huckleberry Finn and I'll still be happy with magic...<br />
<br />
Sort of is not going to work, Omniel... it is or it isn't... (Faerie wants it is though)...<br />
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Did someone say we get drunk??? I just handed out margarita, daquiri, tequila, and smirnoff in Glowy's blog... whoohoo... drunk and skinny-dipping... party time!!!...<br />
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On a serious note...<br />
Facingmyfears... thank you for your kind words... and my mind does a lot of pondering and wondering... thank goodness for EP...

*raises eyebrows at Scooby*<br />
<br />
Indeed.

Why don't We Get Drunk....? No, I'll probably get whacked for that.

Scooby's on a Jimmy Buffett kick tonight. Trying to sound sage by quoting an old pirate. (works though..)<br />
<br />
I'm sure he has a good skinny-dipping song..

This kind of magic I can always live by... *winks at Scooby and Kitti*...<br />
<br />
We need a song for all this skinny-dipping and frolicking... hmm...

See... Magic :-)