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Anguish

"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches.
Whatever you wish for, you keep
And the dreams that you wish
Will come true".

                          - Cinderella, Disney


A persistent relentless dream
T'is so far away it seem
One I hold on to, one I keep
Making me laugh, making me weep
It engulfs my mind, my heart, my soul
Without it, my being can not be whole.

And so I chase this very dream
Searching for those eyes that scream
Is it madness? Is it foolishness?
It brings out the worst and the best
But one thing is clear and my heart knows this
Without it, there will never be bliss.

Time is a factor as I wait for the chance
Has nothing to do with lust nor of romance
But a feeling as clear as the day
The touch alone takes my troubles away
A dream I keep as my time grows old
Forever longing, forever I hold.

And so I wait as perchance it is here
Battling with time I dread and fear
Afraid to be wrinkled and grey
Never catching the dream until I lay
Alone and wondering why I was given a wish
A faerie whose heart bleeds in anguish.


 

- Westlife
Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 46 Responses Jul 20, 2010

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LMAO! I do love cloaks... and if he brings a dagger... well... *raises wand*... I shall be ready... but he may have other intentions for the dagger, too... *winks*...

Hmm... my locksmith... I like that, Lady... very veiled and concealed... like a cloak and dagger mystery... hmm...<br />
<br />
Or is it a mystery???<br />
*sits pondering*...

One key to fit the two huh?... *faerie's heart begins to beat fast... thump thump*... it's either I'm excited or scared... can't really tell right now... *wipes cold sweat from brow*...

Oh Dean... the bounce will come back... it comes and goes lately... I know it wants to stay around... but these chains... *whack whack whack*... they can't be unmade with my whacks... grrr...<br />
<br />
*walks up to Dean*... may I borrow your key?...

Dean... why pray tell do you love my bounce hmm??? Nothing to do with the boobies I hope... *whack*<br />
<br />
Oh Mick... but you love my whacks... and don't worry about the club I used at Disney. I had to leave it there. I did ask the lady if that could be my prize... she laughed... but I was serious... silly Disney folks...<br />
<br />
8FD... your words always carry wisdom... thank you, dear one... but it isn't always easy to open one's heart and reveal oneself... the fun Sylph takes away the fear... it just gnaws and bites sometimes...

fear is only a small lock that chain us to illusions - there are many keys to open those chains and free yourself from fear of life and growing old - happiness, love, fun, deep joy, appreciation, gratitude these are all keys - the message of the notebook was this - that despite great adversity and fears love always reigns victorious...open your heart to love and aging becomes an illusion...you of all people Sylph have nothing to fear - you are the friendliest EP'er I know - at least one of many I know...

I'll refrain from making any comments otherwise I shall get a whack too. Thank goodness it's not the wand the faerie used in Disneyworld!!

You are all telling a faerie not to rush... right... good luck with that... <br />
<br />
Dean... If it's a tight group hug... then what do you think happens with the boobies???<br />
<br />
*whack*...

I'm wondering where the skinny dipping, butt-naked frolicking went... *scratches head*...<br />
<br />
Dear Taken and Glowy... *hugs to you both*...<br />
<br />
A bad place because the reflections made me realize that I am stuck in a place I am not certain where to head to next... like a maze, a labyrinth... there are so many consequences for each path and they are not easy to deal with, very complicated. I know, we all go through this... we each have those dreaded paths that we have been forced to take, or just took because we did not know any better... but knowing and realizing do not really change the fact of the situation... we just know... and so we brood for a while... to make sense of things... let's call it the first assessment... I just recently come to terms with these reflections... and the blow is still staggering...<br />
<br />
And sad yes, because it is hard, and because I am afraid I can never find the dream. Peel the la<x>yers, you say... it is what I have been doing for the last so-so years. I just thought it was my role to do so, my job to keep things in tact. Only recently did I realize (again) that it is not a role. It should never be. What is there to peel if what is left is the rawness? There is nothing left to complete each other. The growing and changing... some just cease to compliment each other any more. The reason for marriage... I thought it was good to change oneself for someone to a person they all want me to be... losing oneself in the process... forgetting who I was... but only to be tormented later on, your inner being screaming to be let out... <br />
<br />
"Everyone has that person"... it is why I have the dream. And I hold onto it eagerly. You ask if I have the courage to find him... you are talking to a faerie here... I seek adventure... I chase dreams... and have fallen quite hard of late... I took my spirit and ***** and headed out... but the dream was not there...

Sylph - Why do say you're in a bad place with the reflections? Reflections just show us what was already there. Now all that remains is deciding what to do with this knowledge. Sad because it's hard? Well, life can be hard. But I have to agree with Taken here. Everyone has that person. Do you have the courage to find him/her? Or to peel the la<x>yers from the one you have now and find him/her? I guess that's the real question.

Thank you, SI... I hope your reflection turns out better than mine... *hugs*...

I have these same thoughts. Your thoughts are inspirational and cause me to stop and reflect.

*Sylph gives high-five to Smuggy for being a natural nudist*... just jump right in with the ladies, Smuggy... we love pugs... *kisses nose*...<br />
<br />
Bluebie... *hands drink to Bluebie*... that butt-avatar would have been perfect here, I'd say... *Sylph dips hands on blue paint and start smacking Bluebie's, Glowy's, and Kitti's butts*... ooohhh... maybe smack some blue paint on Smuggy's butt, too... come here, Smuggy....<br />
<br />
Glowy... LOL! we did fall asleep with all the drinks on your story... *runs to grab drinks*... allllrrrrright, ladies... Margaritas... Daquiris... Tequila... Smirnoff... whoohoo!!! Oh yeah, mustn't forget Dean's Yeungling... *grabs beer*... oh darn... Scooby's shrimps... *grabs shrimps*... <br />
<br />
Whew! This is tiring...

Syplhy - I think we left all the drinks there. Fell asleep before we drank them, but I have ice - we can go back again!!<br />
<br />
Smuggles - I hate to tell you - but you're mostly a nudist. It's ok. I don't think anyone is staring..

Well I was all ready for skinny dipping too, with my butt avatar. Sigh... Gimmie a drink, will you Sylph? I know it's early but it is 5 o'clock somewhere. lol

how do you skinny dip? rooooooooooooo? fur in the way again damn! makes face! hehehehehe

As long as it works, Glowy... he can quote Huckleberry Finn and I'll still be happy with magic...<br />
<br />
Sort of is not going to work, Omniel... it is or it isn't... (Faerie wants it is though)...<br />
<br />
Did someone say we get drunk??? I just handed out margarita, daquiri, tequila, and smirnoff in Glowy's blog... whoohoo... drunk and skinny-dipping... party time!!!...<br />
<br />
On a serious note...<br />
Facingmyfears... thank you for your kind words... and my mind does a lot of pondering and wondering... thank goodness for EP...

*raises eyebrows at Scooby*<br />
<br />
Indeed.

Why don't We Get Drunk....? No, I'll probably get whacked for that.

Scooby's on a Jimmy Buffett kick tonight. Trying to sound sage by quoting an old pirate. (works though..)<br />
<br />
I'm sure he has a good skinny-dipping song..

This kind of magic I can always live by... *winks at Scooby and Kitti*...<br />
<br />
We need a song for all this skinny-dipping and frolicking... hmm...

See... Magic :-)

=-D .. yes ...but while we wait .. skinny dipping with the girls .. we shall give the fish in the sea and the flying birds a show .. no ?...*runs around bouncing and wiggling in the water *=-D

Yay yay yay! Kitti is here... *holds hands with butt-naked Bluebie and Kitti*... oh, almost forgot... dang! *runs to find Glowy and strips her, too*... wheeeee... *splashes water to her sexy friends*...<br />
<br />
I shall continue to wait then, Kitti... you give this faerie a reason to smile... *hugs*...

Yes .. even if you have to wait 50 years for just a day of the dream I would think it was worth it .. the pure joy of it no?..*giggles ..blushes at slyph and blubie .. covers eyes ..strips ...bounces blindly towards sound of water splashing

The magic of the tragedy?<br />
Or the tragedy of the magic?...<br />
<br />
Either one stops the wondering, Scooby...

"Some of it's magic and some of it's tragic...."

*Sylph runs to Scooby... shakes him for the answers*... I want to know... <br />
<br />
Is it worth the wait???<br />
Is it???...<br />
<br />
Tell Sylphy...

xRocks... I don't want to lose my hair... *checks in the mirror*... still got my mane... whew!...<br />
<br />
Bluebie... your *** helped dry the tears... love ya, girl! *hugs*...<br />
<br />
Gee... uhm... what did you miss??? *raises eyebrows up down up down*... and you think the prancing can keep the whacks away, huh? Uhm... maybe for a bit... maybe not... *whack*... but thanks for liking my prancing around... *bounces off to next story*...<br />
<br />
Glowy... we all feel alone even if we are in a crowd... makes you wonder a lot, huh? I'll hang on to it then until I can touch the dream... love ya... *hugs*...

I could give you the answer but you'll appreciate it more if you figure it out for yourself. *checks to see if anyone is buying this*

So what do you do? <br />
<br />
*sigh*<br />
<br />
(Sorry to ruin the water frolicking. It's what I do lately..)<br />
<br />
You..wait? Try to keep hope? Sprinkle all the faerie dust you possess on that hope and pray that it grows into something tangible. <br />
<br />
Sidebar - Alone. Is it alone if there is someone with you now? Because it feels like it. : (

I always believed that if you follow your passions you'll meet people who'll appreciate what you have to offer because they can see what makes you tick. Is it me or does it seem like a lot of us missed that the first time around? <br />
<br />
Sylph. How can I not peek when every story has you prancing around. You prance well. <br />
*geetar prances with sylph*

Thanks guys. You have all once again taken me from tears forming in my eyes after reading this and listening to this song to laughing my butt off at the comments. :)

*whistles*<br />
<br />
When I get older<br />
Losing my hair<br />
Many years from now...

Still peeking, I see... *runs after Gee*... let's see what you do if you're butt-naked...

So you do believe that one day it will come? I've always believed this almost my entire life...<br />
<br />
*Sylph held Dean watching those sunsets*... until your day comes...

What's a nice summer's eve without a faerie frolicking in the water with a nice ***?<br />
(Not you Deanze, I meant Bluebie). :-)

You better not be complaining... *whack*...

Oh dangit! Now everybody is sighing... <br />
<br />
*sprinkles faerie dust on Bluebie... takes her hand and both runs butt-naked to the beach*... you do know why I said this, don't ya???... *giggles*...

I wish... sigh.

*sprinkles faerie dust on Mick*...

Thank you

Aww, Mick... *Sylph takes Mick's hand*... I'll stay with you until your wish comes true...

I often wonder ;-(

So what do you do, Glowy?<br />
What do you do about the fear?<br />
Is there a dream for you, too?...<br />
<br />
*Sylph takes out pen and journal*...

*sigh* I get that too. : (