Looking In the Mirrow
It has been almost 5 years. I don't want to grow old alone. My hubby died almost 5 years ago. The time has flown by faster then I can believe. I want to share my life with someone. I don't know hot to meet people . The Internet has not worked for me. The men in my age group seem to have more hair in their ears and nostrils then on their heads. I feel so young inside. I take good care of myself, and feel young on the outside also. I get so sad when I think of possibly never having another to hold me, to make love to me. My husband was very sick before he died. I held his hand and stayed by him till the end. It is terrifying to think I have no one to stay by me. Kids have their own lives. I don't want to ever be a burden. I go to movies by myself. Today for example, I went to see "The Reader". It was an amazing movie. As soon as walked in, I noticed it was almost all couples. There were no seats in the back. I had to sit between 2 couples about my age. I fought back tears the whole time. It was a marvelous movie, but a very painful experience. I have barely dated in almost 5 years, I fear the next 5 years flying by. By then, I will be 10 yrs older then when my husband passed. I can't stop time, and I hate this out of control feeling. It seems like everyone is a couple. Even meeting single women my age seems a task beyond my ability. I am so scared. I am at a loss for words.