As a child I always wanted the love of my parents, but could never understand what was wrong. By age 7 after a sever beating, and thrown outside, I remember that I prayed to to God and asked him to take me away from this horrible life. When I was twelve, I remember my mother telling me how I ruined her life for being born. I'm in my 40's now and looking back all I have ever been was the Black Sheep in my family. I joined the military at age 18 to make a better life. After leaving the military, I went to college, and then became a law enforcement officer. I have always wanted to make my parents proud , but regardless of all my accomplishments I'm looked upon by my parents as a loser. I have three younger brothers who have issues in life, and who have sponged off my parents their entire life, but regardless of the way they treat my parents they are their favorites. At family functions, my mother-in-law has told me that my parents are always talking negative about me to her, and she has overheard them talking negative of me to others. One thing that I was told by her was how terrible of a son I've been to them all their lives. Looking back on life, I think that I could have saved a lot of years not blaming myself for being born. I maybe a "Mistake" to my parents for being born, but I've come to realize that this "Mistake" is a truely a "Gift" to a family who are always telling me how great of a husband and father I am.