Black Sheep Of The Family

i never really knew why my parents didt like me until i got to about 7 years old.i found out that my sister had died when my so called father was looking after her,when my  so called mum who was pregnant with me at the time, went for a check up.when i was born they wanted a girl.i think after that i was open season to them.i had a bad childhood,they treated me like a slave.if i never done as i was told,i was threatened with violence.i got married and moved away and thought i had left it all behind,but he was always there trying to ruin my life.i have never spoke or seen them  since i got married,i have now been maaried 26 years.my mum died over two years ago and i never felt nothing.my  three brothers were trying to tell me that i should be upset,and wanted me to go to the funeral.i never went,now they have not spoken to me since.it does not worry me and as far as i am concerned they are all dead.i know one has not got long left,as he is HIV positive,i also have one with hepititas A,B,C,if they dropped dead tomorrow i would not care.i know this sounds heartless,but they burnt all there bridges with me.i am 52 now and my own family comes first.so f**ck everyone else.
ward638 ward638
51-55, M
4 Responses Jul 25, 2010

I know what you mean. I have 3 older brother's and one younger sister and a younger brother. One summer right after my freshman year we had one of my brother's friends living with us. I went downstairs to put his mail in the bedroom he was sharing with my brother. I came out of the bedroom and went into the bathroom, as I was walking to the bathroom my sister went into the bedroom. Later on that day I was blamed for opening the person's mail & as it was my sister open it and I got blamed for it.<br />
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My darling sister doesn't do a dam thing wrong. All my niece's and nephew except her two son's put her up on the pedstal, what am I dogshit to them. She isn't perfect either and they treat her like that. We had a family reunion this year and my brother's & sister-in-laws all talk to her. Done of them ever come to talk to me. So I decide this was the last family reunion I will go to.<br />
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I was the one that in the family that was always getting the belt and the other one's never got the belt of hit by a wooden spoon. Even my neigbor that I lived by told me that your mom has always treated you differently from your sister.<br />
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I believe if you have kids you should always treat them the sameway and never have a favorite child in the family and love them the sameway. Yes I have borrowed money from my parents but I have always been the one that never has good paying job, I take what is out there to pay my bills and have a roof over my head.<br />
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Right now I live with my ex's boyfriend and trying to get bills paid off so I can get out of his house also. He has a younger sister that is also The Black Sheep of the family and the way they talk about it is just not right. He told me she isn't part of there family anymore and I think that is just wrong.<br />
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And I also have a friend that her brother-in-law is my cousin, and she going though some bad time's herself and they won't even help her out. They always say friends come and go but you always have your family. Well I think nowadays you have your friends more then you have your family to help you out.<br />
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My cousin feels the sameway. Thanks for listening.

My husband and I were actually talking about the same subject you brought up at the end of your story the other day. Once you are married with children that family comes first and my husband is not above telling his other family to **** off if they cause too much drama. I am getting to that point myself.

It's horrible the kind of crap parents put their children through and I totally feel your pain. I'm a child abuse survivor and have PTSD from it. The horrible things they tell their kids like my parents told me over and over how stupid I was, would never amount to anything and how they cursed the day I was born. My reply to them was I didn't ask to be born. Now I'm college educated have a loving husband 3 wonderful kids and 3 grandkids I love to pieces. So, like I've basically told my family to go eff themselves.

It's sad, what our own families can do to us. Our family of origin should be a Safe Place. When we are with them we should be comfortable and able to drop all our Guards, we should feel well protected and loved. Sadly. That is not the case for so many. And childhood should be a time of shelter, that we are slowly allowed to emerge from, once we are ready. Not a time period spent watching our own back while living with our own family members. You were cheated. I am sorry that you spent your childhood fending for yourself. What a pitiful couple your "parents" must have been. I am impressed that you survived. From the way it sounds, your siblings didn't fair all that well. You may actually be the child your parents would be mosy proud of, had they taken the time to stop and look at you.