Black Sheep Since Birthlets see ever since birth ive been the black sheep the guy that is always told he'll never accomplish anything, its not only that am always a scapegoat aswell whenever something goes wrong if my family dont have any explantion for it, they come to me to either give me a beating or tell me its my fault until i start believing that it is my fault, ive managed to grow with it for so long thinking it's only a matter of time until all this goes away, but am a fool. i remember a day when i wasnt even home, i came from a friends house to find out my lil sister was injured, as soon as i walked in the door my father, he grabbed a big rough silver cup and blasted me with it over the head, i was 7 when that happened it left a huge bump on my forhead that finaly went down at the age of 18. my father is the biggest **** in the world he believes that my life belongs to him and so i have to experience everything he experiences, my goal in life is to become a movie maker and before i actualy went to school to learn that my father the **** spend one year tellingme how horrible my carrer path is and how am suppose to go into the same carrer he went to which is construction. lets go back a bit, by the time i was 8 years old my family decided that i wasnt allowed to have any friends. so i was a lonely boy the only person that i trusted was my father's mom sheis an angel she takes care of me whenever she can she was my only solitude. at the same age my father woke me up from bed around 1 am and kicked me out. i was a kid i stood outside in the dark crying i was scared and lonely i had nowhere else to go. where i use to live was somewhat of a dangereous area pass 9:00 pm, i knew my father wouldnt let me back in so i decided to walk all the way to my grandma house which was 20 minutes away. lets just say that i made it, i was scared for life from that memory. by the time i became 12 i was still not allowed to have friends, my father was somewhat of a snake in the grass, he's a douche bag but also a church man. he forces his religion on all my brothers, he tried to force it on me and i swear i would rather die then forcefuly give my soul to some god i know nothing about. he tried to get everyone to get go to church one day, i dont know if this is my fault but i didnt want to go, something told me not to. i told him no, he walk off and out of nowhere i was kicked in felt a huge kick that landed on my *** cheeks, i was thrown forward i got up and ran inside the bathroom and locked the door. from inside the door i can hear him outside knocking tryin to break it down.
i could keep going on and on even no wam still the black sheep, and thats something i believe will not change, i live every single day of my life thinking of one thing, my only way out is suicide and to tell the truth i think am actualy going to do it.