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The Accidental Pregnancy..

Yup, I was a huge accident and my parents made sure that I knew. When I was 12 my mother actually told me the truth about everything, I was way too young to have to hear what she said i wish that she would have protected me from that instead of telling me it. When my father found out that my mother was pregnant he told her to have an abortion that he didnt want another kid, the only reason that my mother didnt do it is because she is catholic and its against her religion. She has always told me that she wish that she would of had a miscarriage when she was pregnant for me. I was the reason for my parents divorce. I always had told them I didnt ask to be born. They always seem to blame me for all the down falls of their lifes, but I was just a child how could I have caused all this on purpose. I started to believe them at one point . I always wished that my mom would have had an abortion, for I wouldnt have to live this miserable life. As a child I could remeber watching my brother and sister opening presents on christmas morning and when I asked where mine was my mother always said bad girls like you dont deserve to get anything, then she would throw me in my room so I wouldnt ruin their christmas. I was always the one to get beat when my mom came home drunk or high. My father never layed a hand on my brother or sister, but he beat me every chance he got. It used to kill me that they dont love, as a child I never felt love from them only hate and anger. My mom threw my out of the house when I turned 16. I lived in a crack house with my boyfriend for 6 months till it got busted by the cops. I was brought back home to my mothers house she lied and told them that I ran away. When I turned 17 I left and never went back, but I still see them and am tortured by them. I am always called the **** up of the family, the drughead, the *****, just a peice of white trash, thats all I ever will be to them...
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F 32 Responses Apr 5, 2012

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that is seriously f'ed up and you did not deserve any of it, the worst sort of people are those who don't give their children a place to grow and be loved, I hope you find some peace somehow

My birth portal didnt like my dad and she let my *** have it. She has beat the **** out of me with anything she could get her has on. She hated me so bad until she made me lick the bathroom floor for punishment with extention card in tow. She never came to ANYTHING that had to do with me. My grandmother raised me and she died from cancer and then my father died unexpected 18 mos later so I had to go to her....only because I had a hefty check coming in.....that was the only reason I had a roof over my head. I graduated from high school and I recieved my last check and this what I recieved.... a strike in the face with a stick and a boot out the door....I was homeless sleeping anywhere I could......eating what I could find. If I went to a relative to stay she would find out and have them to put me out. That was 14 years ago and it hurts like yesterday. It took me awhile for me to stop putting food in my bag because I was so use to not knowing where the next meal would come from. Now as an adult I am married, have a good income and no kids. I am very reclusive..... I dont have friends where I live...I have built up a wall and dont let people in because I just dont want to be hurt. So I hope this message let someone know that it is not just you......its a lot of people that have stories that still hurt.

All these nasty actions of your parents are * on them * and * not you *

Mildred Muhammad has had to recognize that about her ex-husband, who was the DC Beltway sniper in 2002...

My mother has told me for as long as I can remember: "you are just not the daughter I wanted"

Wow that is so sad. So sorry that your mother and father are not strong and thinking through. Now you are older but still young and need helps and guidance, I hope you will find some supports from a sympathized relative or from the community.

But the truth is, only you can get yourself out of this vicious environment, when you decided that is what you want. Work harder on the right things and try less on the bad things. When you think it is so hard, think of the people in third world countries, they don't have anywhere to go and no food or work, so you are already ten times better than them, just bear and grin. May your future be a lot brighter and beautiful smiles always bloom on your face.

Thats awful I'm so sorry. I don't know what they expect you to turn out the way they have treated you?! Haven't they ever heard of adoption, someone else could have loved you and treated you like a human being since they are too screwed up. They want to punish you for their own issues. Leave them behind, forget them and be careful out there, there is a lot of dangerous people that try and manipulate people from broken homes.

I'm sorry that you had to go thru all this but i hope that one day when you
have children of your own you show them all the love you werent given.

Wow, I am sorry. I hope things get better for you and you live out your dreams
Success if the best revenge.

your parents treated you WRONG but everyone has a purpose in life, so you wasnt an accident its a reason why you were born. hold your head up high the things you been has made you the woman you are today

I am so sorry, look ahead in life and never look back. You are special.

if they didnt want another kid they should of gotten her tubes tied or used protection, or birth control...if your gunna enjoy the pleasure enjoy the end result also, they could of even given you up for adoption so you could of had a loving family, I feel so sorry for you nobody should treat anybody like that let alone there own child.

I have never understood the fourth commandment. "Honor thy mother and father". Shouldn't it read "Honor thy children".

There is a special place in hell for people like them. You are alive, you have a life ahead of you. Live your dreams, become who you want to be, and never look back.

You are here and alive - that is a miracle if you are religious (God's divine work), or not (amazing circumstances of chemistry).

You only get 'now', the past is done & dusted and nothing you can do will alter that. Tomorrow is a promise that not everyone will get, but it is one that you can choose and control. Whatever hangups you have are a problem, but that is not set in stone, you can regain your own life and future - it is yours and yours alone to choose.

Wow, your mother is an awesome catholic woman, get's drunk, has unprotected sex, treats her certain kids with love and the other she abandons. I really hope your parents mature one day and realize what they have really done to you. You are right, none of us ask to be born. It is through sex we arrive.

No abortions because she was Catholic and it was against her religion eh ? One of my favorite aspects of organized religion, hipocracy. How catholic is it to beat your kids? Deny them Christmas? Blame your kids for their own problems? Some of the most dispicable people I know are "deeply religious", preach one set of ideals, yet live by a totally different standard themselves...

I'm truly sorry for your situation, no one deserves to be treated like that... But it's not your fault...

Well, you got a ****** deal in this life. That does not mean it has to stay that way. What it means is that YOU have everything you need to see to yourself. It is time for you to get to know you. Discover your boundaries and limitations and once you do never ever exceed them. Discipline will have to become your mantra and middle name. You will have to put aside the hurts that have plaqued your young life for now, for you have alot to do in order to create a safe environment for yourself. You are strong. How do I know that because you are still here. Get to work!

This is very sad. Adoption is the logical path. Adopting grown up unwanted kids that have has such a life sounds like the proper Christian thing to do.

Same here...I was like 9/10 when my dad told me that if he had known I was a girl before I was born he would've made my mom get an abortion. I cried like hell, my mom told me he didn't mean it, that it was the drugs at that time,but deep down I knew and still know that he meant every word of it...and sometimes...it still hurts.

http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Scapegoating.html



They pushed all the blame onto you.

It's not your fault.

I really think you need to call around and find a clinic where you can afford therapy to deprogram yourself.

You need deprogramming, because they are likely still in your head, abusing you.

If only they understood that children become what there parents expect of them... its true... You naturally seem like an intelligent beautiful girl... they should have seen that....

if that all is true.. well.. I don't know. very messed up.

Melisa Gates foundation has a program for throw away kids, like me now, if you go to a community college have them apply for you. You get your GED,Collage Diploma,and a job.Lots of support and love.

Give yourself a long hug for me angel.

Beloved,
Consider your self hugged twice, hug yourself you are worthy of love.

I am so very sorry. I love you and God loves you. You have a purpose, you are not an accident God planned you. You are very beautiful. I was the accident first born who ruined my parents lives. Whatever they call you is what they think of themselves. I have been called, a *****, Lesbian, witch. Because God forbid I always tell the truth. After being called a truant, I got my GED, then spent 20 year taking 1 or 2 classes a year or semester. It drove me to excel 2 classes at a time. So I proved them so wrong graduating with honors, dignity and self respect.

i am that Dad...get back to me hawkins01607 on yahoo....you won't regret it

I was an accidental too... my has told me this since I was old enough to remember... I know for sure he did when I was 7.



I have to ask though... did your dad tell you he asked your mom to get an abortion? My mom said a lot of things, that weren't always the truth. She thought she could get away with it since I lived with her and not my dad... but you know what... 30+ years later... you will seek out and find the truth.

-Jeff

Everyone is here for a reason, there is a purpose in everyone's life. My younger brother was not really planned or expected, but he was born anyway. Yet my parents still shower him with love, and actually treat him more leniently than me and my other siblings. On the otherhand, I being the second oldest was the one who was beaten as a child for silly reasons. Not to the extent you've went through, but none the less, a beating is a beating. The issue was resolved some time later, as I grew my dad realized that if he kept beating me, there will be a point where I won't stay quiet. I have the utmost respect for my father and we're doing great today. You're parents didn't want you? ****'EM! YOU wanted YOU to be here, you have purpose for you're existence that no one can deny. It doesn't matter what live you've been living, that will change with time, you're still young. They never helped, you are in control of your own life and you can still change it's course and choose the path you want to take. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but if you really want to, you can. Never forget that.

WOW!! that's just awful.. I truly feel for you and what you've had to go through. At least your away from it now and can do your best to heal what they've done to you.. and just a little something to keep in mind if you choose, wanted or not. You have a reason for being here, all of us do we just have to venture out and find our purpose.