The Opposite Of Perfect

I'm the blacksheep of my family because I just couldn't ever compare to my sister and her amazing accomplishments. Everything always seemed to come easy for her. My parents were always so proud of her and would constantly tell me I should do things like she did. She was always beautiful and thin and I have always been a little overweight and average. She graduated at the top of her class in high school, was senior class president, prom queen, and also did well playing soccer. I wasn't involved at all in high school, got poor grades, skipped classes, and eventually left and got my GED. My sister went to a major college right away (which my parents happily paid for) and got plenty of degrees. I floated around, dated some losers, and worked my butt off for minimum wage. She graduated college got an awesome career making lots of money and I was stagnant. She married a physician, while my husband went to jail following an alcohol problem. She bought a mansion on the water, I bought a broken down house in the ghetto. She had four beautiful children, I apparently am infertile. She retired to be a stay at home mom when her first child was born. I continue to work for minimum wage. For my parents 25th anniversary she sends my parents on an amazing vacation, and I make them a scrap book (btw...the scrapbook was my sisters idea and we were both supposed to make it for my parents, but I did all the work and still presented it from both of us, and then my sister pulls out the vacation thing without even telling me about it...nice huh). My mother reminds me constantly how wonderful and amazing my sister and her whole family is (my mother even talks about how her dog is better then ours), as if I could ever forget. Anytime the whole family is together, my sister and her family get the best of everything (best room and bed, while we sleep on an air mattress in the living room....even her kids get a room and beds) and me and my husband are expected to watch the kids and clean up all the messes. I am graduating finally with my bachelors degree but no one is proud of me but myself and my husband (no, my parents didn't pay for any of fact my father WAS paying for my internet connection because he said he wanted to do that as long as I was in school, but when we lost our house and moved he forgot that he wanted to do that I guess so we are paying for that now). I honestly sometimes would just rather avoid my family just so I don't have to constantly be reminded of how disapointing I am to them. This year we are going to stay home by ourselves for the holidays just so I don't have to feel like a loser for a change. I know my parents love me, but I hate the way I'm treated by them sometimes. I get that my sister is successful and I'm not, but shouldn't they love me the same anyway?
jbernardi1 jbernardi1
31-35, F
Sep 23, 2012