Believe Me, I Know How This Sounds...

It seems somewhat "emo" and dramatic to say this, but i do feel like an outsider in my own family at times. I admit that i don't always make it easy for them, and say odd things they can't understand. But, (there's always a 'but', isn't there?) when i'm with my friends, feeling content and "me" i can't help thinking that i could be happier with another family, or just living on my own, far awary from them all.
See, in my family, all my uncles & aunts are quite selfishly driven, and don't seem to understand the concept of 'family'. And then when my own family exclude them, well, it turns into a pretty small group for me to be different. Because i don't always share the same beliefs as my parents - well, to be honest, rarely - it can be hard to bother after a while. Which, quite obviously leads to the whole "black sheep" thing. My off-kilter sense of timing probably contributes too.
i just don't know what to do sometimes. Any suggestions?
BowsAndBones BowsAndBones
18-21, F
9 Responses May 15, 2007

Ah Bless you. You and Millions of others are experiencing this Confusion of Changing from a Girl to a Real Woman, Or Boy to a Man. Knowing some things Just are not Right, And yet to have an oppinion,only Causes you Pain, Stay Quiet Angel,Learn from the things you see and Hear, Dont fight it, It is lifes lessons ,Preparing you ,You can not Change other People,You can Only Change Yourself.x

My whole life I felt like I did not belong in my family. Not just my immediately family, i.e. Mom, Dad, 2 brothers, but my aunt's, uncles, cousins, etc. At 45 I just found out that my father is not my biological father. I am the product of an affair and have always been treated as the red-headed stepchild (no offense to red-heads). My whole life I felt like there was something wrong with ME. Now I know that they had the problem with me, I was an innocent child and they took it out on me. I don't feel so bad about it when I look at it that way, however, I am heartbroken in other ways.

if u think ur r the black sheep of ur family than its good because some time some people are making trouble ot others but they do not except this but u expect the reality so u can change ur self . . face the truth be brave

i honestly know how your feeling i have been living with my family for two years now and its like tourture tryin to get them to understand where you are coming from with anything you say

I feel for you... i really do... ((((hugs))))

May not sound like a helpful suggestion, but ride it out. Everybody else isn't 'stable', 'secure', 'sane', and all the stuff they seem. Most people are just pretending, they hang onto a 'recipe' for how things should be done, what they must wear to be accepted, the right things to say etc. They will also feel threatened if you can see through this as a mask they wear. I went through this for a long time, still do at times but now I'm old enough to be just 'eccentric'. Try to be more accepting that most people need to stay 'on the straight and narrow' and can't live without strict boundaries.<br />
Take care<br />
R

....continued, i hit a wrong button .... Dr. Phil ( yes i am a fan of his* states that the blac k sheep is what he calls the TARGET PATIENT of the family and if one exists the entire family brres help. Just food for thought. Don't beat yourself regarding the label, understand that the rest of your family, simply just does not wish to face the truth, I would honestly prefer to be the honest person in the family than live in denail. * Black Sheeps UNITE!!* gentle hugs

My immediate family (namely my mother and me) are the black sheep's of our extended family. And guess what? We're the kindest, sweetest, warmest people in the entire family. Her and I are stronger and have a better relationship than any other two people. You are perfect the way you are and one day they will come to realize that. And think of being the black sheep like being unique. No one else notices the white sheep because they're practically clones. But the black sheep is different, which in my opinion is always better!

Many times the "black sheep" of the family becomes the strongest. Especially in time of crisis or drastic decission making. Don't be surprised in the future if you become popular among family members when it comes to these things! My mom went through this to a degree of being the outsider. But when it came to taking care of the parents and making family decissions, guess who the family turned to??!!